My Inspired Relationship with Classical Music

I am “lucky” to be endowed with a creative mind. While certainly its condition of schizophrenia has crippled me to the point of disability for many years, it now is tempered with medications. These days, my independently-functioning brain is a “friend,” and so I am never alone or without companionship. Perhaps this is why I do not long for a significant other.

My creative inspirations are rooted in my heavy musical background. During my youth, I focused intensely on violin and viola lessons. I was an excellent violist, always playing in the best of circles. For college, I attended a prestigious conservatory and earned a bachelors degree in music. Although I had plans to become a professional violist employed in an orchestra, my schizophrenia cut this aspiration to shreds in graduate school. Music seemed to activate some part of my brain that triggered panic, disorientation and delusions.

Yet despite the pain, I will never forget my musical experiences. I remember private lessons and Suzuki group classes as a child. I remember playing in youth orchestras. I remember going to music summer camps, where I made friends and had laughter in the summer heat. I remember traveling to four different states by myself during my senior year in high school, investigating conservatories for college. I remember practice rooms and lectures on music theory…