Family as we want it!
A single father along with his friend and brother-in-law raise three girls. There are problems each day but nothing that the Tanner family can’t get through and solve together. This is Full House, an American family sitcom of the nineties shot in front of a live studio audience. Many Americans grew up watching this as a kid with their families but I am Indian and had never even heard of it until last year. The reason for it can be a lot of things but the most convincing one is that maybe this series never made sense to Indians until now. It is about a big family and depicts a life which seems ideal to a teenager due to the changing mindsets of Indians.
Single dad, kids dating and a whole lot sharing. If you would’ve shown this series to an Indian family at the time of its release (30 years back) they would’ve been left wide eyed because at that time single dads, dating and sharing was a foreign and absurd idea. They would have had no idea as to what to make of anything happening. Boy problems? No my kid wouldn’t even think of such things, they’d say. Drinking issues and that too with girls? Oh impossible, they don’t even stay out late or go anywhere without supervision at such an age, they’d say. For so many years Indians have had only a certain way to life. Study hard, get into an engineering school and then work in a good company. This was their blueprint. The men never did the housework and the girls never went out to party. You were always ‘told’ what was right like when to marry or how to behave. But you don’t have to be 27 and engaged, you should be allowed to do things at your own pace and comfort. This is something that many Indians have started to understand, specially the teenagers and hence Full House now has started making sense to them.
Primarily, the thing that appeals the most to an Indian family is the ‘full’ house concept, meaning that the family is like a joint family. Indians have always lived like that; other family members helping out with kids or work. It is a concept that needs no accepting- it gives a feeling of home. However, Indians might tend to see the family more in the perspective of a joint family than three men raising kids. While it is a good thing that they find their own family structure in that, it might not be the best as the message of struggles of single dads can get lost. The message the director might want to send across and a new perspective could get lost. Full House is a show with a problem and solution taken out in 30 mins span and a lesson (always). When such is the case the makers would want their meaning to be deliver as per their intent. However, due to different ideologies and ways the Indian interpretation can be different. But that isn’t necessarily a bad thing. For example, Indian kids don’t do chores as they have house help so seeing the characters in it have such responsibilities can act as a learning point for them. Although, it is a setback to the whole ideal life concept that Indian teenagers find in this series.
Such series have turned out to be of particular appeal to the younger generation. Being open to their parents and grandparents, not having to hide their relationships, trust and independence are things that they want. And it is human nature to watch more of what appeals to you. The good news is that now the relation between parents and kids has started to open up, there is more sharing and talking. Moreover, understanding of each other’s worlds has increased and therefore series like full house have become relatable. Unfortunately, there is a long way to go and a lot of change expected.
Why do Indian teenagers find an ideal life in this series? It is because we want the freedom to make our own decisions and the factor of trust from parents to let us. Typically we are expected to ask our parents whenever we go somewhere, if at all we don’t then a good scolding always awaits us. From the parent’s perspective this might be the correct thing but for us it’s suffocating. That’s why when DJ (the eldest daughter) and Stephanie (the second born daughter) are only given a curfew and just asked about where they went after they are back seems like the appropriate way. Also Indian parents are mostly not comfortable inviting the person their kid is dating home because they find it inappropriate and don’t want to encourage the ‘dating concept’. That is why seeing DJ and Steve (DJ’s boyfriend)sitting in the living room watching TV and everyone else doing their work, not even supervising them, makes us feel happy. Indian kids hope that their parents also some day are able to be okay with the concept of dating and while they are warming up to the idea there are still a lot of restrictions. Romantic relationships just in general to the Indian society is a big NO.
Moreover, the conversations and expectations are not balanced between parents and children in india. The rule is ‘if they are elder to you they know best’ and as much as I agree parents have more experience, they too can be at fault and with changing times there are a lot of situations which are new from both ends. There are often times we see Danny (dad of the three girls) apologise to his daughters for assuming the wrong thing or being harsh on them over a situation. This seems like such a sweet thing; in India we are always told that you have to apologize because you are younger even if someone older than you made the mistake. In some situations this might be a sensible thing to do, but you do not like to apologise for something you were right, it just is not pleasant.
Then comes the biggest factor- the independence and individuality. We see how Stephanie loves partying but is responsible although she is caught drinking and hanging out with the wrong crowd. But, Danny trusts her and that is why we know she said no when her friends asked her to take a drag of a cigarette or when they asked her for a rave party at midnight. This element of trust and independence is what Indian teenagers like me wish for. Our parents do trust us but we aren’t given the independence or space to make our own mistakes or try our own thing and learn from it. Instead we are told how to behave and how to act in front of the society so that they don’t think ill of us. We are even told what we should be doing whether at school or outside. During the whole series I never once heard the words ‘what will people think of you’ and if you ask any Indian teenager they all despise that phrase. I have done so much in my school life whether it is related to sports, studies or extracurriculars but if I date, none of that will matter to anyone because ‘society’ will identify only with the fact that I am in a relationship at such an age. When I watch Full House I see how Danny feels happy when Steve supports DJ and helps her out in her problems when he cannot. In India such relationships are tagged as nothing but a distraction, if a straight A student is in a relationship and gets a B it’s because she/he is dating, nothing else can be the reason. Indian parents by default do not see romantic relations in positive light, it is a sad cliche.
Adding on to all this is the talking barrier. The openness is increasing but it is still not balanced. Parents expect us to talk all about what happens in school, how we feel about it and the activities and grades but when it comes to something they find uncomfortable like being gay or asking someone out the openness disappears. In Full House we see DJ having a conversation with her dad after breaking up with Steve and sharing her feelings. In that moment when Danny makes her feel better and talks about it, every Indian kid, I bet, says ‘I wish it was the same with us’. Moreover, in Full House we see Stephanie talking to her dad when he is in a crunch, telling him that it is okay and they will get through this together. Indian kids are also learning to support their parents as we know they have more to do than us and we support that. All we long for is the independence to make our own mistakes and decisions and the freedom to talk of what we feel about a situation.
Due to all these taboos and bottled feelings the setting of Full House and the behavior of the characters makes us feel happy. It feels like an escape from the not so ideal reality. We tend to envy that kind of life and find it ideal. This series is of great appeal, especially to the current generation who are squashed between their grandparent’s generation which refuses to see the other side in any situation (except their own) and their parent’s generation where there is no balance of expectations.
Another aspect to keep in mind is that watching series specially of different countries was never a prevalent idea in India. The increasing connectivity and creation of platforms like Netflix has played a big role in Indians getting introduced to series like Full House. Indians have learned about different views on existing topics and have started seeing those in different light. At first they knew that their parents’ statement was the ultimate thing but now they know it is okay to have your opinions and views and it is not wrong to want to express your opinion. This increasing connection to the world and exposure to different point of views makes the thoughts of the current generation of India most unique. And as the generations before them catch up they find solace in series like Full House.
Surely, Full House has created a place on the watchlist of many Indians but why should that be a big deal? The answer is that this is an indication of progress and that is a big deal. It shows an increasing overlap of views across nations which is a milestone for today’s world. The stories and lessons might have a different meaning in India but at least people are evolving and mindsets are gaining a global perspective.
