The Road to Marriage — WP1
As international relationships and ‘international love’ gain popularity and acceptability in society, marriage is becoming a global context. Thus, it’s important to address the road to marriage locally, nationally, and globally because every country, every state, every locality has a different understanding of how two people should end up being married. Friendship. Dating. Living Together. Engaged. Married. A stereotypical western path to marriage. In the east, pairings involve a lot of parental intervention and family matching rather than an emotional connection between the two people being married. However, as we continue to increase the interconnectedness of countries in the world, global marriages gain acceptance and popularity; these marriages are primarily approached using the western road to marriage, thus the western road to marriage must be accepted globally because religion, and culture innately bolster this ‘road’ to marriage.
Historically, the road to marriage was very simple: one married a girl/boy in their community, primarily locally, and rarely nationally. Global marriage was an unorthodox and unacceptable concept, and people who wanted to marry internationally often eloped. The increase in acceptable global marriages is because of increased globalization through immigration laws, and international education. For example, a study done by the Indian bureau of immigration suggests that every fourth person who goes to the states to study, settles down there and marries someone who is a foreign national. Some people might argue by saying that most Indians that marry abroad marry other “American-Indians” only and thus they are marrying nationally and there’s nothing global about the marriage, but they are wrong because a marriage that transcends political boundaries must be considered international/global. Conservatives use religion and culture as a weapon to deny this ‘western’ and ‘modern’ way of getting married — because accepting change and development in their version of fundamental social norm is unacceptable to them.
Conservatives of these India and China (the primary nations that use the eastern road) argue that religion propagates the eastern road to marriage, however, my Indian heritage has taught me a lot about the 7 vows of a Hindu wedding — the most popular method of marriage in India. The 7 pheras (vows) are: family nourishment, strength, wealth and prosperity, family bond, responsible parenthood, healthy togetherness, and lifetime love. In my opinion, families and conservative priests are extremely hypocritical while they preach versus when they narrate these vows. They say that a global marriage or a marriage unaccepted by family members breaks the togetherness of the family and creates differences, however, the whole concept of family is to stay with your loved ones through thick and thin — therefore if they choose who they want to love a family’s duty is to support their child. This doesn’t mean support your child through wrongdoings or if he’s falling through a pit, it simply means that one’s child has the right to choose their path in life which will lead them to fulfill the 7 vows.
The western road to marriage is all about feeling, love and desire. These innate qualities of the western road to marriage nearly satisfy all the scriptures religion offers and eases the process of cultural assimilation. The western road leads to the gradual formation of a robust foundation, which bolsters nearly all religious vows — including all the Hindu ones. The foundation of any marriage is love and trust — both qualities that are statistically and subjectively stronger and more prominent when couples are married through the western road. When two humans naturally form a connection, before marriage, their minds subconsciously consider everything religion and culture preach about love and marriage. The freedom the western road offers, allows for this subconscious reflection which increases the probability of a compatible, long-lasting, and successful relationship. The western ideology’s focus on natural feelings and natural desires that humans have disregard any ‘man-made’ obstacles like certain societal norms — allowing natural and easy global acceptance.
Alternatively, the eastern road is all about a robust family bond, structure, and community. Some argue that these factors are important to consider because they ease the process of ‘togetherness’ since pairs usually have the same values, beliefs, religion, and culture. However, I feel like these factors are automatically strengthened in a western marriage because the couple is a part of each other’s entire life and community for while hence form those deep connections in and out of the family. The eastern road strengthens all three factors in the present, however, in the future as time progresses differences begin to arise, fights happen, and soon a divorce (or separation as divorce is unholy in certain religions and cultures). Thus, the method’s scope is very narrow and isn’t long-term, whereas the western road is a long-term method in its own. People don’t fall in love naturally in ten days, it’s a gradual time-consuming process.
Globally, countries that enforce the eastern road using religion and culture, however, most religions — like Hinduism — propagate a happy, healthy, and stable life and neither of their scriptures propagate ‘arranged marriages’. Yes, I agree, it is easier to acclimate in a new family environment when they are from the same culture as you. One’s parents also understand their child and thus have a great judgement while choosing their child’s partner, hence compatibility rates are high. These positives do make the eastern road appealing and acceptable, however, children should be a given a choice on what road to use and if they choose the eastern way they must be allowed to say ‘no’ to their parent’s choice. Marriage is a global thing, the couple isn’t just married nationally or locally, thus either road must adhere to global laws — primarily freedom of choice. Divorce rates from a forced ‘arranged marriage’ are almost double of love marriages. A parent’s opinion must always be respected, but the final decision must be left on the bride and the groom.
In conclusion, the western and eastern road to marriage have its benefits and negatives, however, with growing globalization the western road is a better fit for global religion and global culture. Until now, this notion was battled using religion, culture, and social norms but the everchanging world has autocorrected itself for the western road to be the global road. Religion and culture have been proved hypothetical, and social norms have been amended. If the eastern road became the global approach to marriage love wouldn’t be love, instead love would be a forced upon transaction. Children might love their parent’s choice and feel that it’s right, but the “what if?” will never leave them throughout their life — leading to cheating or an unhappy married life in the future. The westernized road to marriage embodies the new era of globalization and bolsters the 21st century mindset — its global acceptance is inevitable and forthcoming.
Word Count: 1120
