Survivor
Intro;
Seven years ago my mother Sandra was diagnosed with the infamous inflammatory disease known as lupus nephritis. Lupus nephrities occurs when antibodies affect the structure in your kidneys, causing inflammation, high blood pressure, a weak body, and in extreme cases like this one, kidney failure. I had just been a happy middle schooler at the time who had no idea how deadly my mother’s diagnosis truly was. It wasn’t until I almost lost the person who I hold the closest to my heart that I fully understood the seriousness of the situation.
Tragedy Struck…
It was the year 2013, I was having a great day laughing and playing basketball at school but then tragedy struck when I returned home. My sister and I came home not to our loving parents, but to our grandmothers. We were in shock as my grandma Meche told us she and my grandma Victora would be taking care of us while my parents were at the hospital. Although I was only 11, I was able to sense the sadness and fear in the voice of my family members, so I started to worry that the situation may be more serious than I thought…
During the first month of my mother’s diagnosis, my parents were in and out of the hospital a total of 11 times, all I can remember was feeling confused and hopeless. I missed coming out of school and seeing my mother smiling at me and giving me the biggest hug. Every day after school my mom and I used to bond as we watched our favorite show Survivor, but now when I came home, I couldn’t do that. All I had was my sister who was too busy with her friends and homework to have time for her little brother.
To make matters worse, my dad came home one day telling me and my sister that he needed to talk to us. I was thinking that my mom was going to be coming home healthy again and everything would be alright… but no, he sat down to tell us that the Dr. said my mother wasn’t supposed to be alive much longer. The only chance she had for survival was suspending her immune system and taking CellCept in order to prevent liver rejection.
My Reaction
When I heard this news, my heart broke. I completely shut down and went into a state of depression that I never thought I would get out of. I changed from outgoing to introverted in a matter of seconds. I completely lost my personality and stopped interacting with everyone. The worst part was I absolutely could not smile. People at school were intimidated by me and everyone thought I was a weirdo, but I could not find the strength to fake a smile, so I walked around every day with a serious face at all times. It didn’t matter if I was at Disneyland, the happiest place on earth, or if I won a basketball game, you were not going to catch me smiling. Not only did I stop smiling, but I also stopped talking. Whenever someone approached me and tried to start a conversation, I just shrugged them off and kept going on with my day. If it was not my mother or at least someone I deeply cared about, then I was not going to talk at all. It literally got so bad to the point that I began losing friends at school as well as losing my minutes during basketball games because people were fed up with my “attitude” and lack of communication. Looking back at it of course I regret how I reacted, but can you blame me? I almost lost my mother…
Not only was I negatively impacted, but so were all of my family members. My sister had to take care of my mother while dealing with high school, my dad had to go to work every day not knowing if his wife would still be there when he got back, and all our other family members began worrying if the ray of sunshine that they were used to seeing at family gatherings would still be around.
As the days went by my mother continued getting worse and worse… Her chest started getting pink and her skin was peeling, her knees were giving her issues, her body was having bad reactions to the medicine, and worst of all she was still stuck in the hospital. The memory of my dad telling us that the doctor said she wasn’t going to make it, kept replaying in my head and there was absolutely nothing I could do about it. Both my mom and I were at the lowest point in our lives and it started to feel like all hope was lost. I really believed that my mom’s life was coming to an end. Every time I visited her at the hospital felt like the last. There was absoutely no way she was going to make it out of the hospital alive. At least that’s what I thought…
Media Break!!!
This is a very deep and emotional story, so to lighten the mood I added in some of my favorite childhood videos to give you a deeper look at who me and my family are, and why they are so special to me.
My first Baseball game.
Bonding with dad
The cake incident.
A Closer Look at my Reaction/ The Evolution of my Attitude
I feel like words alone can’t express how I really felt during this tough time in my life, so here’s a chronological photo sequence of me in my different sports uniforms to show how my attitude evolved over time, as a result of the events described in my story.
Now Back to My Story…
SHE DID IT!
However, this story isn’t titled Survivor for no reason… Though it seemed as if there was no hope, my mother decided to take matters into her own hands and get closer to God. During the time that she was in and out of the hospital, she started reading her bible every day and seeking God for help. Suddenly, as if a miracle happened, my mom was able to get through all the treatment. The doctor who had told us there was no chance of survival, was shocked to see that my mom was beating all odds and was going to make it out alive. She really did it! My mom survived the treatment! When death was calling my mom’s name, she said not today Satan! Like the powerful woman she is, my mother kept pushing through the pain because she wanted nothing more than to be with her family.
When I heard that my mom was going to be okay, I couldn’t wait to come home from school to finally see my mom again! Now of course her health wasn’t going to be 100% ever again as she continues to fight Lupus to this day, but all that mattered to me was that my prayers were answered and my best friend was alive! I asked my mom how she did it and with a big smile on her face and tears running down her cheek, she said that she had made a deal with God. The deal was that she promised to start reading the bible and believing in Him if God would give her the strength to keep on fighting.
As time went by, my mom started adapting to life with Lupus and she was able to go out and spend time with her family again. My sister and I were forced to grow up a little, as my mom no longer felt comfortable driving drive or doing other errands like she used to but we didn’t care. We were willing to do whatever it takes to keep my mom safe and healthy. Though she had to constantly take pills, wear knee braces, and eat extremely healthy, my mom was finally able to enjoy life once more, and that’s all that matters to me.
During this stage of my life, I realized that my happiness is very dependent on my mother’s happiness, and as she got better, so did I. After a couple of years of adapting to her new strict lifestyle, my mom finally felt she was ready to go out with us. She all of a sudden became adventurous as we took family trips to Disneyland, Universal Studios, and then Cancun! It was during this period of time that I was finally able to start taking control of my emotions and find my happiness which had been lost over the years. Luckily this all took place around the time that I was starting high school because I decided that I was going to take advantage of my chance to start over. And let me tell you that was the best decision of my life!
Not only did my mom and I start feeling better, but so did the rest of our family!
This picture of us celebrating my momma’s birthday at grandma’s house basically sums up how we all felt once we got the news that my my mother was going to be okay.
My Life Started Turning Around
The first step I took on my journey to regain happiness was joining the high school basketball program. As soon as I did, I started making tons of friends. My parents were so proud of me and they were honestly shocked to see me smiling for the first time in years. Not only did I make lifelong friendships on the basketball team, but I became extremely social and made tons of friends in all my classes as well. All my friends didn’t believe me when I told them that I had been shy and introverted coming into high school.
I started making friends again!
When I finally snapped out of my depression and allowed myself to be happy, I started making tons of friends at school. All my friends thought I was funny and they wanted to hang out with me because they knew I was always down to have a good time.
Fast Forward to the Present
Time went on and I thought life couldn’t get any better, but let me tell you… IT DID! Recently the doctors have allowed my mom to lower her medicine and pill intake because they said she is much healthier now than when she first started her treatment. To add onto that, we are now living in the house that my mom had always been asking my dad for when they were in their 20s. I remember hearing my dad constantly telling my mom “We are going to own that house one day, just give me time” and thanks to the good Lord, now we do!
Seeing my mom doing better than ever was the motivation I needed to break out of my depression and become a much positive and energetic person. My new personality even helped me win over my best friend for the past four years who is now my beautiful girlfriend, Emily.
My mom being healthy and happy really gave me that push I needed to keep performing well in school and in life, as all I wanted to do was make her proud. And that I did. Throughout high school, I brought home tons of athletic and scholars awards, whether it was league championships or certificate awards for having over a 4.0. I dedicated every single one of my accomplishments to my mother, and this made her feel very special. Nothing made her feel more special and more proud than my acceptance to USC. Let me tell you my mom was hugging and kissing me all day… Of course, I was excited that I got into my dream school, but what brought me the most joy was seeing my mom jump around the house, calling all of her friends and family, telling them that her son got accepted into USC.
Without my mom’s continous love and support, none of my accomplishments would have been made possible. I dedicated every win to her because she was my rock throughout all the tough times. She was there watching all of my basketball games even if she wasn’t feeling good. She was there to hug me and tell me that everything would get better. And finally, she was there whenever I needed her because that’s the type of strong woman that she is.
I got a girlfriend!
People definitely noticed the change in my attitude, with the most important being my best friend. My best friend had been there for me through the tough times, and once she saw that I was able to be myself again, she started falling in love. After a while, I knew she was the girl for me, so I asked her out and we are still going strong to this day. Here are some pictures of my queen and I throughout the years.
I got my personality back!
I started this journey a happy kid, and I came out of it a much happier one who loves to make people laugh and help others when they are feeling down. It wasn’t easy, but I made it through the tough times, and now I make it my mission to make a positive impact on as many lives as I can. Whether I am giving my aunt a shirt with my face on it, or am in the middle of skid row feeding the homeless with my church group, I find joy in making others smile. I can now continue to live my life happily, because I know my mother fought hard for years so she could stay here with me, and I want nothing more than to make her proud.
Conclusion;
You know, the funny part is, even through all of this, my favorite memories aren’t actually when we moved into the new house or when I made it into USC. But it’s actually the memories of my mom and I watching Survivor together. Prior to my mom’s illness, she would sit there telling me that she would love to compete for the million dollars and title of “Survivor” but I remember thinking there was no way in a million years she would be able to do it. I would always laugh at the idea of my mom living in the wilderness for 39 days, competing in a reality TV show. Man, did she prove me so wrong… Little did I know, the sweet lovable lady that I had been living with my whole life, was a true Survivor all along.
Interview Section;
-Sandra Estrella-Gomez
(The hero of the story, and the woman I am proud to call my mother)
Did your experience of being hospitalized with Lupus make you realize anything? What?
“What it made me realize was that my question was I had so many issues with my body. It also made realize that I had to do some reaserch about lupus and how to make sure I knew everything I could to get better.”
Why do you think YOU were able to make it out of the hospital alive ?
“Fear is was what made me make it out alive..fear of leaving behind my family. My mind went crazy with the knowledge of if I don’t get better I won’t be able to see my children marry and have a family of their own. You guys were my motivation to conquer the that fears I had.”
-Albert Gomez
(My dad)
What was going through your head when mom was struggling with Lupus?
“When I first heard about your Mom having Lupus Nephritis directly from her Dr. at Kaiser, I immediately began to research the disease and question the Dr.’s diagnosis. I wanted to get a 2nd opinion (from another Dr.) to ensure that the prescribed course of action to solving your Mom’s problem was our best choice. Unfortunately your Mom’s kidneys were only functioning at 30% and we made a choice on the spot to star the CellCept treatment after the Kaiser Dr. Said to me ‘you can get a 2nd and 3rd opinion if you’d like, I just don’t guarantee that your wife will be alive in the morning.’ At that point I focused on helping your mother overcome her fears of the potential risks of the CellCept treatment as her primary concern was ‘what if I react negatively to the medicine?’ I responded that I would be right there with her and I would take her to the Hospital immediately. I did take her to Kaiser 11 times in the first month of her treatment, each visit lasting for about 6 hours, early in the mornings as well as late at night.”
What role did God and family have on the situation?
“God and Family played a central role in the situation. I have gone through challenges over the years and have learned to have blind faith in our Lord God and Savior. In those days your Mother, rejected the power of Jesus coming into her life. After sharing the gospel with your mom for years, and her absolutely rejecting it as many people do, I pleaded with her to give the true and living God a chance. I explained to her that God created every cell in her body and knew exactly how to instantly heal her as he is the Doctor of Doctors. I insisted that if your mom would simply stop rejecting God and instead accepted him, he would immediately heal her. This was a very challenging time for our family, and took a huge toll on my relationship with your Mom and my side of the family. Your mom found strength in fighting to stay alive to see you and your sister grow up as you were both very young. I am sure that your mom was scared not only of her physical condition, but she must have become very concerned about losing me as we were very close to divorcing. It was at this point that I believe your mom made a deal with our Lord that if he healed her physically and saved our marriage, she would believe in Him. Through the counsel and prayers of Pastor Fausto Pfluker of My Father’s House, your mom came to know Jesus and both her health and her marriage were restored. Years later both your Mom’s health and marriage remain strong.”
-Rocio Pat
(My Nina, and my mother’s older sister)
What impact do you think moms Illness had on the family emotionally?
“Speaking from my view, my mom started putting Sandra first because of her health condition and we all started praying for her. We all wanted to be there to help her out and make things easier. We were all worrying. My daughters kept asking questions when they realized what was happening and I would try to explain to them it might not be curable but we have to pray for her and be there and be nice to her. I felt stressed because I didn’t know what triggered her lupus but there was nothing I could really do but pray. I felt guilty because at first I didn’t believe her. But she learned to live with lupus and once we felt she was okay we all started feeling better that she could go out with her family and do things that she likes again.”
How did you react when she finally started getting healthy again?
“When she mentioned that her medication was reduced and that she didn’t need as much treatment anymore, I felt a sense of relief. Like oh good they were able to help my sister! It was great news! If I remember correctly my head was racing and it was good to hear that all these things that she was feeling was getting better. She did everything she needed to do and it finally worked out.”
-Lorena Estrella
(My aunt, and my mother’s younger sister)
What impact did my mother’s illness have on you? How did you feel during the time?
“I can’t remember who told me your mom had lupus but I do remember thinking it was not serious only because I didn’t really see my aunt who also had lupus have any serious complications. And your mom always complained about every ache, pain or headache. I used to think it was in her head or she wanted attention. As the lupus progressed I noticed she was losing weight fast and I remember asking nana why was she loosing weight but like always nana fudged the truth and just said she couldn’t keep food down. Even though I never got the truth from Nana I did realize this was more serious than I thought and there would be a possibility that I might lose my sister. Not only was I afraid to lose my sister I was more afraid for you and your sister. I didn’t want you to grow up without a mother. I do recall a time that I know your mom might hate me for bringing it up but I do recall your mom felt like giving up and I remember telling her that by giving up she was not only giving up on her but she was giving up on you and your sister and if that’s what she wanted to do then she needed to tell you both she didn’t love you enough to keep fighting and she needed to tell you she was giving up on you. As hard as that was for me to tell her I knew it had to be said so that she can continue fighting for her children. This was a scary time for all of us but even more so because you were moving to the new house and I know the stress of moving was taking a toll on her and making it worst for her health. But with the help of all of us we packed up your house we moved your belongings and we unpacked your belongings so that my sister wouldn’t be as stressed and she can focus on her health. As you can see she prevailed she worked hard and she’s controlled it with her diet. I couldn’t be more proud of my sister.”
