From Hobby to Career
I enjoyed making art at a very young age. I don’t know where my passion for art comes from. Is it because I am naturally good at drawing and painting so I enjoy it? Or is my passion makes me invest more attention in it to achieve more advanced skills? After 15 years of art practice, the question “why do I like art” still remains as a mystery to myself.
Middle School & Early High School — Fundation
After my parents realized art is one of my talents, I started to take art classes outside school. In China, middle school is one of the most competitive education stages. Schools will have monthly exams and later announcing the ranking of every student base on their performance in the exams. My middle school life often reminds me of Battle Royale, a Japanese thriller film where they put all the teenage boys and girls together and make them kill each other. Most students will use their weekends to sharpening their weapons. They go to a private tutor, lecture classes, doing tons of practice questions in order to improve their grades. Art is considered as a useless subject because it is not included in the high school entry exam. Now you would understand it is very luxurious for me to take a whole Sunday off and just practice drawing.
It was hard for me to take art seriously because no one else does. My parents sent me to the art class so I can take a break from my busy school life. They believed enough rest will help me to study more efficiently. Indeed, going to art class is like going to the playfield. There is no unsolvable math problem, no theories I need to remember, and no long essays I need to write. Painting and drawing were not challenging for me. It was quite relaxing to make art when everything is so easy. Art class is more like a place for me to hang out with my friends and receive compliments from people to boost my confidence. As one of the leisure subjects, people, including myself, do not have a high expectation for me to establish anything in art. Being an artist is easy. I can just stay in my comfort zone and make realistic and pretty drawings.
Late High School — Self-Searching
After I moved to the United States for high school, cultural differences, and eagerness to fit in making I start to question not just my identity and also my view of art. Art class occupies a much higher status in American education. Art is not treated as a leisure hobbit but a formal class. It takes up as much time as Math, literature, science, and other classes. In my high school, there are annual art shows and art capstone programs. It was a very sudden change for me. US education emphasizes more on the value of creativity. In China, art is a hobby. I practice to relax, but in the States, art became a channel for me to present myself to a group of audience.
Art teachers also had higher standards for us then just make pretty drawings. Once, my teacher asked me why did I use blue to depict my skin and is there any meanings behind it. Back in China, I will simply paint something just because it is beautiful. There were no meanings that connect to my art. Questions like this really inspired me to think.
Why do I paint?
There are millions of other things I could do. I could sing, dance, cook. They are all good ways to relax, but why do I choose to make art. What is the connection between me and art?
At that moment, I start to think about the meaning of my art other than just being pretty. Art education in China and in the US is so different. It was a difficult transition period for me. Art could be viewed as a useless hobby in China, but a serious class in the US. I was amazed at how things could be so different in different cultural content.
So how about me? Am I a different person in China and in the US?
Drawing and painting changed from a relaxing hobby to a technique I use to express myself. Who am I and what is my relationship with the surrounding became my main subject. I made tons of self-portraits in high school that you might think I am a narcissist. I keep painting my own face in many different forms. The concept of self-portrait excess the literature idea of capturing my physical form. “I” could be a person in the newspaper with a blurry face. “I” could be an eye peeking out through a nutshell. “I” could be many fragments of my face colleagues together.
My definition of the artist changed. Artists do not simply present a harmonic clip of the reality on paper to a tool used to speak my thoughts, concerns, and questions with imagination and creativity.
Freshman Year of College — Overwhelming
Painting and drawings have always been easy for me, so after I decide to major in Design, I imagine my life will be easy and smooth. Here, I said it. I choose the design major because I thought it will be easy for me. Since I practice art, art-making has always been an easy way out for me. It is an escape from heavy work in middle school and is a catharsis for my thoughts in high school.
However, majoring in design is nothing as I imagined: it is not easy and I am not good at first. In my foundation art class, I am forced to try out much different media I never thought I would be using. Cutting wood, kneading plaster, tagging the wall are new experiences to me. All these different media easily pulled me out of my comfort zone. Working with unfamiliar media and along a talented group of peers make me start to question myself.
Am I actually good at art?
Art classes art challenging, but design classes truly make me cry. I have been working with imagery my whole life and now I have to narrate art with shapes, colors, and lines. It was very difficult for me to speak in the language of the abstract. I feel there is a switch to turn on my ability to make designs in my brain. I think about it so often that it almost feels like a real physical object, but I just couldn’t reach it.
Art is the most difficult subject I ever studied. In my past life, art classes are always an easy A class for me. Unlike my other major, Art History, I could get an A by paying attention to the lectures, doing my reading homework, and consistently revising my paper, I don’t know what to do to improve my art. I was always the best artist in my class, but after I entered college I lost all my pride. Every day I go to classes amazed yet pressured by the crazy works created by my peers. I have been enjoying my natural gift of art my whole life without taking it seriously or put in the effort.
I really don’t know if art is right for me
“you design is not compelling enough”
However, in college, I realize I could just get by with my gifts. Being a good artist needs tons of practice too.
Sophomore Year of College — Advancing
After a year of training in art, my perspective of art completely changed. I realized that I have to work hard to make good art. Art-making did not come in nature to me anymore. The everyday struggle is real. Luckily, I broke through the block and finally turned on the switch in my brain after investing tons of effort and time.
My work changed from this
to THIS
In the past year, I grow rapidly. However, art is never the same for me again. It was a leisure hobby which is hard to take seriously, but now it is the most serious thing in my entire life. My future is solely dependent on my art. When I was younger, I enjoy art making because it is easy and relaxing. I couldn’t imagine remaining the same passion when art suddenly becomes difficult and stressful.
Interestingly, I still like art the same now. After all the struggles and artist blocks I have been through, I never thought about giving up art practicing. On the contrary, I care about it more. I truly enjoy the feeling of creating twenty samples and finally find the right typeface for the text. I enjoy the feeling of trying out hundreds of colors and finally find a color between blue and green called “3a5527”. There is nothing to be compared with the feeling of finding the delicate balance in the poster.
It is hard to describe the feeling. I feel I have been walking in a dark narrow hallway the entire time I have been practicing art, but I finally break it through now. I came to the open field, with lights and endless possibilities. There is no road you could walk on, but you could go anywhere you want. It is challenging, but you are free. Art is hard, but I love it.
Art in Use
If breaking through my art blocks help me to open my mind, using my art in real life showed me what could I do with art. After putting in more effort into my art, I realize I could do much more with art and bring it to the next level. I am working as the head of design in the Japanese Student Association where I actually put my specialty in use. Since then, my art is not just a concept yet aloof subject, but it is used and printed. Even though it might bring people very micro impacts, but it means a lot to me to see that my art is useful.
Art in Social Content
I want to make a bigger impact after designed posters for my club.
“After Quarantine“ is an ongoing project including a serial of postcards to document my after quarantine to-do list as my response to the global epidemic caused by COVID-19. These cards could be used commercially. People who resonate with my to-do list could send these postcards to their friends as an invitation. It will be a good way for people to bond with their friends during quarantine time and keep hopes for a better future.
I came a long way from creating art as a hobby to assume myself to a career that could benefit people around me and even society. My definition of an artist changed alone the way. When I was in China I never treated art seriously or put much effort into it because society defines art as a useless hobby. After I moved to the States, I start to challenge myself to express my voice through art with encouragement from my teachers. My freshman year in College re-defined my perspective of art. It became something difficult and serious. With one year of training, I grow significantly and so does my art. I came to the realization that art could be something I could never imagine ten years ago. It is not just a meanless hobby, but on the contrary, it carries a boarder social responsibility. Since now on, I am not just creating art for myself, but to speak for myself and others.
