Embracing A Vision of Change:
How Quitting Opens the Floodgates of Growth and Achievement
In our society today, the concept of quitting is often met with disapproval as it is closely linked to–if not completely synonymous with–a form of failure. Quitting your job? You failed to live up to your expectations. You once believed this career trajectory was the ideal fit for you, so you not only sacrificed years of your life for schooling but also invested a significant sum of financial resources to fuel this pathway. But now, you’re quitting, meaning you have fallen short of your ambitions, aspirations, and expectations. Breaking up with your partner? You failed to become the loyal figure you thought you could be. When you first began your relationship, you most likely promised the world to them–that you would ride the highest and lowest tides with them–but you have now called it quits. You failed to keep your word.
Whether it be a career or romantic relationship, people are often advised to preserve in their endeavors even if these connections provide little to no fulfillment because doing so shows “character”–the beauty of grit, resilience, dedication, and determination. But what if I told you it doesn’t have to be this way? What if I told you that you don’t have to remain committed? In fact, what if I told you that this mindset is outdated and may do more harm than good to your physical body, mental health, and soul?
Annie Duke, the author of Quit: The Power of Knowing When to Walk Away, advises people on this newfound outlook: one that is centered upon a growth mindset that is achieved by breaking away from old habits that are not positively serving or guiding people towards achieving their higher self and potential. In her highly-acclaimed book, Duke examines the psychological and emotional tapestry that is amalgamated into decision-making processes. Through these examinations, she goes against the grain and informs her readers that quitting is not a form of failure, nor is it a sign of weakness. Rather, it is a powerful skill that helps individuals unlock greater success in their lives.
According to Duke and her perceptions drafted in Quit, people often stay in situations longer than they should due to the fear of uncertainty. She states that uncertainty is an intrinsic component of every individual’s decision-making process to a certain extent, and this fear of entering the unknown is what debilitates us from embarking on some of the abstract ideas that are looming within our minds. The unknown potential outcome, whether it be success or failure, acts as a formidable barrier that restrains individuals from initiating change in their lives. For example, people remain in their careers despite absolutely hating their jobs out of fear of whether or not they’ll be able to find something “better.”
Will this new job provide me with the same, if not more, income?
I have my fixed set of expenditures that need to be met…
Will the work-life balance be in my favor?
I don’t want to start all over only to realize I’m being overworked and underpaid…
What kind of working environment will I have?
Will I get along with my coworkers?
What if the environment is more toxic than my current place?
What kind of expectations will my superiors have?
Will I be micromanaged? I definitely don’t like that…
Not having definitive answers to such quandaries contributes significantly to why many individuals refrain from quitting. After all, people enjoy remaining in their current circumstances–even if unpleasant–because familiarity breeds a sense of security (albeit a false sense of security that may cause harm or limit personal growth). For others, they may be apprehensive about ending their romantic relationships due to their uncertainty about whether or not their decision is too impulsive or if there is truly someone “better” out there for them in this world. This fear of uncertainty is what shackles people down and prevents them from looking beyond their immediate circumstances. Consequently, this perception can also be seen as an extension of a “lack mindset”–an outlook in which individuals constantly perceive themselves as having limited resources or opportunities to grow, rather than seeing the abundance they can indulge in and gain as a result of letting something go. As such, Duke emphasizes in her book that quitting is actually one of the smartest moves a person can make as it holds the potential for people to experience endless new opportunities, as opposed to being mired in a ceaseless cycle of longing and despondency. I agree with Duke’s assertions as they illuminate the notion that quitting can be a strategic decision that propels people forward by empowering them to tap into their unlocked potential and pursue their true aspirations, which can also ultimately catalyze personal growth and self-actualization.
What sets Duke’s book apart from the plethora of other self-help or self-empowerment literature is that she does more than merely inspire people to make more audacious choices. Instead, her book provides strategic guidance and methodical approaches that can be implemented immediately by all readers to not only ensure quitting is the proper decision but also to minimize damages and disruptions in life that make people fearful of quitting.
For example, Duke emphasizes early in her book how to properly assess if quitting is the “right” move. She begins by informing her readers that it is imperative to first weigh the opportunity costs by asking, “What will be gained by quitting? How much will I benefit from quitting?” Then, people should evaluate both the short- and long-term opportunity costs and benefits that are linked with certain actions. Evaluating both spectrums of a decision can help people avoid or navigate around the sunk-cost fallacy, which refers to the reluctance people have in abandoning a course of action because they have already invested so much time, energy, and resources.
However, several people have criticized Duke’s book, stating she oversimplifies the approach of quitting. Although she provides real-life scenarios, such as how to properly maneuver quitting a job or ending a relationship, she fails to directly address some of the intricate variables that make it difficult for people to actually move forward with their decision to quit (Kirkus Reviews, 2018). For example, it’s difficult to quit a job when a person has a mortgage, student loan, credit card debt, and bills to pay off. These complications are only exacerbated when a person has dependents, such as children or their aging parents, to take care of. Consequently, many people have criticized Duke’s failure to address these intricacies, even labeling her a privileged individual who doesn’t need to worry about these externalities.
Others have also argued that Duke over-glamorizes quitting, making it seem as if quitting is a solution to people’s problems. However, more often than not, there are many situations where persistence and perseverance are necessary to achieve a goal, and quitting too early can lead to missed opportunities for growth and potential success (Moss, 2019). For example, by remaining committed in a relationship, people can learn how to communicate more effectively and/or learn how to navigate their traumas to grow together with their partner. By quitting too early, people fail to learn from their deficiencies, which will only lead them into the same patterns of mistakes with their future new partners, and I must admit that this argument has some merit. Speaking from personal experience, I realized that I constantly found myself trapped in an anxious-avoidant attachment style with the people I have dated simply because I have given up too early in my relationships, resulting in a failure to understand and address certain aspects of my behavior and emotions that are a projection of my internal wounds. Had I persevered instead of quitting prematurely, it is plausible that I would have attained those invaluable insights earlier. However, I firmly believe that every relationship I have encountered has furnished me with invaluable lessons and afforded me a deeper understanding of my values and personal growth. Hence, I do not dwell excessively on the notion of missed opportunities or harbor regret over my past decisions.
In light of the aforementioned criticisms, I believe Duke deliberately crafted her book to exclude intricacies to allow greater accessibility to a diverse readership. In the event Duke went into complex scenarios, such as taking into consideration children and mortgages, then it would hinder the adaptable application for people who are in the younger stages of life. For example, had Duke delved immediately into discussing finances with the looming concerns of mortgage and children, then high school and college students would not be able to fully grasp her concepts.
Although a simplified approach makes it difficult for people to implement actionable measures, Duke still equips people with tangible solutions to mitigate the burdens associated with quitting or transitioning to a new pursuit. For example, Duke proposes the idea of “tilting,” which refers to the process of making subtle adjustments to strategies, outlooks, and approaches over time, rather than a significant change out of nowhere. Oftentimes, people feel the need to make dramatic changes out of nowhere when faced with difficult decisions. Consequently, when deciding to quit a job or not, people feel pressured to make an all-or-nothing choice: stay or double down on their efforts. However, Duke advocates for people to not take this approach as it is counterproductive and diminishes the nuances regarding complex situations. When people implement tilting into their lives, it allows them to gather information and test out different strategies before fully committing to one course of action. Furthermore, by observing how they respond to subtle changes, they can adapt before making a full-on commitment they are unsatisfied with.
Due to the refreshing take Duke has adopted in a moment where a lot of people are burnt out and reassessing the greater meaning and value of life in a post-pandemic world, many have praised her book, including me. From my personal standpoint, I found it refreshing to witness a growing number of individuals deviating from the pervasive “hustle-culture” that has been zealously promoted on social media, as this notion inflicts a great sense of inadequacy and inferiority on those who are unable to relentlessly prioritize their academic or professional pursuits at all times. Given the prevailing recessionary trends and the uncertainty surrounding post-graduation employment prospects, this rejection of such a toxic culture, in favor of a more balanced and mindful approach to life, is something I am glad to see as it will help decrease some of my fears and anxieties in the coming months. And I am confident that many individuals would agree with my assessment, as the pervasiveness of social media platforms, such as TikTok, has allowed me to witness the palpable sense of aimlessness and disorientation that afflicts a sizeable portion of the younger demographic, especially the millennial generation.
Individuals like Adam Grant–an organizational psychologist at Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania and best-selling author of books pertaining to motivation, creativity, and constructive feedback–have also praised Duke’s book in an article for the New York Times and on GoodReads. He claims it is not only a “must-read” for anyone looking to improve their decision-making skills but it is also a “game-changer” as her thought-provoking perspectives have helped “reframe quitting as a strategic decision rather than a sign of weakness (New York Times, 2020) (Goodreads, 2020).” Grant has also relayed his agreement with Duke’s approach by posting the following message on his Twitter account: “Quitting your job isn’t being disloyal to your boss. Sometimes it’s the only way to stay loyal to yourself. If work threatens your well-being, leaving is an act of self-preservation. If work violates your values, quitting is an expression of integrity.”
Daniel H. Pink–best-selling author of books “Drive” and “When” and motivational speaker on topics regarding business, work, and behavior–has also praised Duke’s book for taking on a multifaceted approach by integrating science, storytelling, as well as practical advice. It is not easy challenging conventional wisdom, especially when these notions of a hustle-centric culture and mentality are frequently propelled on social media platforms by influencers. Consequently, it is meaningful that Duke draws on academic research on a spectrum of disciplines–such as psychology and economics–to demonstrate the detrimental impacts of sunk cost fallacy and how to navigate and eventually overcome cognitive biases that intimidate people from cutting their losses. Pink celebrates Quit as being more than just a self-help book that helps people navigate a decision-making process; he celebrates it as a medium for Duke and her fellow readers to share their human experiences and the constant struggles they face as they learn to navigate the complex and constantly-evolving tapestry of life. The relatable anecdotes Duke integrated into her book weren’t merely for the sake of being relatable or inspirational but to help people understand that they are seen, understood, and (most importantly) not alone in their journey; there exists a community of fellow individuals also attempting to find meaning, purpose, and happiness (Pink, 20202).
It is without a doubt that our society has changed in complex ways as a result of the pandemic that has forced us into solitude and reflect on what we truly want to do and make out of the lives we are gifted with. From the way we work and socialize with others to the priorities we have in our lives, the pandemic has left an indelible mark on our consciousness that makes us want to live unabashedly for ourselves, especially a life free from the fear of the unknown. By implementing the insightful guidance provided in Quit: The Power of Knowing When to Walk Away, readers will gain invaluable perspective on recognizing when it is time to relinquish and move forward from situations that are no longer serving them. This freedom will then gift people the physical, mental, and perhaps even emotional bandwidth to pursue new opportunities with confidence and purpose that is aligned with their higher self and vision. With that being said. I highly recommend anyone who may be experiencing uncertainties, fears, or anxieties about their future or current predicament to read pages of Annie Duke’s Quit to find greater clarity in how they would like to restructure their perceptions and navigate for the future. It is without a doubt that readers will be equipped with the tools necessary to navigate their futures with renewed purpose and conviction, underpinned by a fortified mindset.
