Beauty in Traumas

“There is a Jewish proverb that says that only a broken heart can heal another broken heart because it knows deeply what suffering means…” reads a line in the book “Wabi Sabi — Wisdom of Imperfection” by Nobuo Suzuki. This inspired me to write to you about the feelings emanating from that statement and another beautiful term associated with it — Kintsugi.

Kintsugi is a form of Japanese art which uses gold lacquer to mend broken pieces.

https://unsplash.com/photos/round-brown-and-white-ceramic-plate-JuDPjcutors

I have been exploring some Japanese literature to widen my horizons about viewing life. A topic that particularly stands out to me is kintsugi. Kintsugi is a form of Japanese art “..which uses gold lacquer to mend broken pieces. It makes them resilient.” When I googled for pictures about this art, it blew my mind. There was an immediate appreciation for how beautifully ornamented the mending of a broken bowl looked. All it took was embellishing the scars with gold. It was just a perspective shift.

Below are further lessons about this beautiful concept as stated in the book.

Lesson 1 of kintsugi: scars are not to be hidden — they are part of our story.

Lesson 2 of kintsugi: what we have survived to get this far is our greatest treasure.

Lesson 3 of kintsugi: accidents are enlightening

How can you use this in your life?

Here are a few ways where I have utilized the above even before I had read about kintsugi and now that I am aware, it makes so much sense and validates my approach to handling my past wounds.

1. Do not hide your truth. Yes, it is difficult because we live in a society where people are chasing a sense of perfection. Perfect girlfriend, perfect body, perfect lifestyle, perfect home, and so on. Perfection is an illusion — there is no one perfect way of doing something or being someone when there is no one perfect DNA structure or one perfect birth chart stating all the guidelines or best practices of how to be a perfect human. Everyone’s lives are tainted in one way or the other — our experiences, good or bad, mold our personalities. People tend to not share the broken sides of them that’s all. This is lesson 1 of kintsugi, do not hide your scars. Do not hide your experiences, your struggles, your detours, your vulnerabilities — especially from yourself. The right circle of people will always understand you because they have been there and experienced the very life you have. They will get you.
2. As an extension to the quote stated at the beginning of the article, our experiences teach us wisdom and teach us lessons that are so powerful, they are so valuable for others who are at the beginning of those very experiences. Share your wisdom when you can and do it from a space of kindness with nothing back in expectations. That is where true human nature exists. That is where true calmness and peace for the soul exists. All this wisdom is going to allow us to figure out who we are and our purpose — aligning us with our direction. This I attribute to my understanding of lesson 2 of kintsugi.
3. I believe lesson 3 and lesson 2 go hand in hand. Accidents are enlightening. Sudden and unpredictable experiences are what humans want to stay away from because just the thought of it is so destabilizing. But the funny nature of this is, they are unpredictable and we don’t know when and what they are. No one can be 100% prepared. This does not mean we hide in our safety zone and do not live our lives at all. Every accident generates knowledge and enlightenment. Stay flexible and adaptable. Let go of your ego whenever you can. Learn healthy emotional regulation and make it a lifestyle so when you do experience the unexpected, you are stable from within. Nothing can shake you.

I hope this article helps you in some way. I always write from my heart and hope it benefits another heart on its journey ❤