Healing Isn’t Linear — It’s Circular

Photo by William Farlow on Unsplash

We like to think of healing as a straight line. You start in pain. You get better. You move on. But real life doesn’t work like that. Healing loops back on itself. It circles through the same feelings again and again — but each time, you’re a little different.

You might think you’re over something. Then one small thing — a comment, a date, a memory — brings it all back. You feel like you’re right back where you started. But you’re not. The pain may look the same, but you’ve changed. That’s what makes it a circle, not a loop. You’re not stuck. You’re moving — just not in a straight line.

When I first started therapy, I wanted quick wins. I made a list of things to “fix.” I thought once I crossed them off, I’d be done. But healing doesn’t work like a checklist. It’s more like peeling an onion. You cry, then you go deeper.

Some days, I felt strong and clear. Other days, I was tired and full of doubt. For a while, I thought that meant I was failing. But it didn’t. It meant I was human. You can grow and still feel sad. You can be brave and still feel afraid.

The truth is: healing is quiet. It happens when you don’t notice. In small choices. In saying no. In taking a nap. In not texting back. In letting yourself feel what you feel without rushing to fix it.