Here’s How I Dealt with Losing My Friends
They were like the waves in the ocean of life.
They came & drifted off within seconds.
My Brief Story:
Since childhood, I desired strong companionships. I always desired friends to hang out with. Though I had been an introvert, I still wished for a group of friends to feel validated.
During my teenage years, I successfully established my position in a big friend’s group. The group consisted of all the delinquent kids of my class and on the contrary, I was a studious girl. Hence, they approached me only when they needed my help in their studies. My desperation to have many friends led me to be surrounded by people who were not necessarily evil but lacked depth in friendship.
Subsequently, we slowly drifted away from each other like the fallen leaves on the streets and I again tried to connect with my classmates. I had enjoyed some feverish friendships but deep down I gained a fear; Fear of being left alone. This fear made me change myself to impress others & I successfully disguised myself in the cloak of an amiable girl.
It was only after the COVID-19 Pandemic that I escaped from this role. My sand castle got washed away by the storm of uncertainty. It led to the commencement of a new chapter in my life — The chapter where I had to stay alone & drop my character in the play.
How I dealt with it:
At first, this sudden change bothered and tormented me for a long time. As my friends on the list decreased, I feared upsetting my remaining ones.
When the pandemic arrived, I lost interest in studying, partying, and impressing others. My niches changed and a metamorphosis occurred within me. I became determined to heal myself & the healing also required me to extinguish my fear of being left alone.
To evolve, I had to build up the courage to be vulnerable.
All this time, I desired friendship out of need —the need to feel safe & validated. Now, it was the first time I remained content with having no friends and the thing that enabled me to do this was healing myself.
I learned to be comfortable in my skin and enjoy being alone.
You are your best friend on this earth. Remember that! People will come and go but you should be your own best companion. You are the only person who will stay with you till death. Others can only be your partners, friends, family, etc but not your whole life. The universe will gift you meaningful friendships only after you have surrendered to being alone.
So, the only way to deal with losing friends is to heal ourselves and establish ourselves as an individual. When we no longer fear losing people only then we could connect with people on the foundation of love & not on our needs.
Conclusion:
A person should remain equally happy in being alone as he is with his friends. If one doesn’t realize the transient nature of people, relationships, and life itself, he will always suffer in the hands of fear, failure, and societal judgments.
Charismatic, fearless, and confident people naturally attract people of their kind.
Be a lamp in this world that illuminates everyone around; A lamp burns itself in the process of illumination but remains memorable to everyone.
There is a difference between loneliness and aloneness and I hope we can infer this difference……
