How To Overcome The Arrival Fallacy
In my previous job, I was expecting a promotion and thought to myself that I would be happy if I got that promotion.
Fortunately, I got the promotion, but my happiness did not last long. Within a few days, I started looking for a different job.
I often had this question in my mind: why are some rich people not satisfied with what they have in life? This mindset is not limited to the wealthy; people at all income levels experience it.
If I had the goal to start a business and earn money, after achieving it, I wouldn’t stop; I push my goal one step ahead and expect to make more money.
Likewise, after achieving goals, instead of being happy, we set another goal to achieve. This will keep on going.
What is arrival fallacy? Why we are wired to want more in life?
From childhood, our parents advised us to work hard so that we could get a good job and be happy in life.
Imagine this: you are working on something and putting all the efforts only to reach a goal to be happy, and after reaching it, that happiness quickly fades away?
When someone says, “Enjoy the journey than the destination” it doesn’t make sense at all, but it’s true and we should enjoy the process.
Why should we enjoy the process?
Studies revealed that lottery winners were not happier than their neighbors who hadn’t won.
Like this study, many other studies revealed that achieving goals doesn’t guarantee a long-term happiness.
The term “arrival fallacy,” coined by Tal Ben-Shahar, defines this concept as the popular illusion that achieving a certain goal will lead to lasting happiness.
You can’t predict the future, so there is no guarantee that you will be happy after achieving goals.
Does this mean that setting goals in life is not necessary?
No! In fact, setting goals is more than significant, but your mindset on outcome matters the most.
Instead of moving your happiness to the future, you should start enjoying it right away.
People who were not loving their current job often think about moving to a different company, once they move, they realize within months that this is not what they wanted.
The reason behind this is the expectations and “If” conditions we have built in our minds, which make it difficult to manage when reality happens.
How to overcome?
Change the outcome mindset
Expecting good outcome is not bad, but focusing solely on them is not going to help us. Instead, you have to focus on the process.
Make efforts to enjoy the process. For instance, listen to favourite music while working or reward yourself with your favourite food after completing your work.
Journaling
Take a notebook or paper and write down one thing each day that you feel grateful for.
If you find writing boring, then go for a walk after dinner and think about one good thing that happened each day.
Postponing happiness often starts in our childhood, and you can’t change that overnight. However, changing your mindset or keeping a gratitude journal can slowly help you enjoy the process.
Every day is a new day; don’t postpone anything to tomorrow because you never know what might happen next.
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