I have a habit of giving up when things get hard
I can’t believe I finally owned up to this.
I abhor stress.
Yes, I know nobody likes stress. Mine is worse, especially when that stress isn’t going to be beneficial for me.
Twice, I was appointed as student leader in two capacities — high school and university. I opted out halfway into my tenure.
Managing people was hard for me, and even more frustrating was not getting the commendation and motivation for my hard work.
Looking back, I see it was easy abandoning my leadership position because, my motive was to get recognition, and not necessarily to serve the students that elected me into office. So I became impatient and opted out!
I started several businesses after my graduation — selling phone cases, clothes, offering book keeping services, graphic design services, CV writing and the likes. I opted out when things got hard.
Sales weren’t coming in as I imagined, I wasn’t reaching as much online audience as I desired, prospects were pricing my services as peanut. So, I did what I could do best — give up.
I began my social enterprise Youthfolio, which was supposed to help reduce youth unemployment in my country. But yet again, when I didn’t get as much audience and recognition that I thought it deserved, I gave up on it thrice. I’m now on my fourth attempt to make it work.
Pray for me.
Truthfully, my intentions for starting these businesses were faulty. I just wanted to be recognized again. And since it wasn’t forthcoming, I let go.
Another angle.
Job search isn’t easy. At least, not in a country like mine where there’s spiraling youth unemployment, coupled with high rates of workforce layoffs due to dwindling economic situations.
Regardless, I have given up on jobs just because I thought they were stressful. I just opted out, not willing to persevere one bit.
Please spare me the gist of working for experience!
I didn’t care. I just didn’t want to stress for another person’s enterprise, so I quit.
Yet again.
I’ve had relationships and friendships which I dissolved because I couldn’t keep up with their attitudes, so I burned bridges. I didn’t want the stress associated with their unstable behavior, so I called off what we had.
The interesting thing is, I never realized this opting out pattern until now. I have now accepted this to be a problem because I know my lack of resilience will cause me more harm .
Am I really that weak?
I know there are some other areas of my life where giving up was and will never be an option. My academics for instance, and my family.
So maybe, just maybe I’m not a total loser after all.
I love academics, so I’ll study no matter how hard it seems.
I value family and my marriage so I’ll stay no matter how stressful it gets.
Yes, I have the habit of giving up when things get hard, but I won’t give up on anything I place value on. In addition to this, I have learned that motive or intentions have a great influence on my willingness to stay resilient on an assignment no matter how hard or stressful it gets.
How about you? Do you usually feel the urge to let go at every slight inconvenience?
I think you should know that good motive and value build resilience.
Cheers
Sonia.
