In the Name of Love
I Am Glad I Escaped From the Shadow of Toxic Love
How can you destroy someone mentally? That question leapt from my phone screen, my eyes fixated, lips trembling with unspoken words. Let me tell you how.
Let them believe in your love.
Hold them hostage with your affection. Ensure you establish a good relationship with them. Ensure they stay with you. Ensure they don’t leave.
Begin by denying them.
From the smallest matters. Tell them they shouldn’t add milk to their tea. Tell them you don’t like how they chew. Tell them their writing is illegible.
Then, criticize their appearance. Examine their facial features one by one. Tell them that their eyes aren’t as expressive as you’d like and their nose doesn’t match your idea of perfection. Mention that their mouth is smaller than you like and their ears are larger than you find attractive. Make them believe they are not as beautiful as they deserve to be.
As the manipulation progresses.
Undermine their family relationships. Point out the typical disagreements and tensions that exist in every family, but magnify them to create a sense of discord. Blame their temper on their dad and their indecisiveness on their mom, subtly implying that their family is responsible for their perceived shortcomings.
Continue following this pattern.
Undermine their friendships. Politely list out the reasons why they couldn’t be friends, and why this friendship would inevitably collapse.
Remember.
Keep up a facade of warmth. Suppress any signs of anger. If they dare question you, look deeply into their eyes with a false sense of love or a hint of pity. Remind them of your love and subtly question how they could possibly doubt your intentions.
In the final stage.
Instigate a conflict. Express your emotions forcefully. Reiterating the negative criticism mentioned earlier, but this time, the tone was angry. Further damage their self-esteem by insulting them.
Now, let’s pause.
Offer a seemingly sincere apology. Request forgiveness in a subdued manner. Gradually rebuild the relationship, all the while aiming to regain their trust for future manipulation.
Now start.
Reinstate all the previous denials, perpetuating the cycle of manipulation.
You succeeded.
They will internalize the denials, becoming self-doubting and suspicious. They’ll overanalyze situations, be hesitant to accept positivity, and may even unconsciously reject good things that come their way.
No matter how sincere the praise or blessings, they’ll find it difficult to find emotional fulfilment because they no longer believe in it.
By fostering self-doubt, you’ve effectively turned them against themselves.
They’ll embark on a prolonged, self-contradictory, and self-destructive internal struggle that may never find resolution. Unless they leave you.
You may wonder why I know it so well.
Because this was what I suffered in my last relationship.
He was always right. I was always in the wrong.
He said he loved me. He said he would never harm me. Yet, he always despised me.
Bite by bite, word by word.
He tried to destroy me in the name of love.
