Man Refuses to Wake Up from Coma to Avoid his Screaming Wife
Have you ever heard of a man who decided to remain in a coma because he was afraid of his wife’s nagging? Meet Gary. Gary has been “resting” in a coma for two weeks, with rumors circulating that he is simply avoiding household chores and possibly a long-overdue discussion about why the garage hasn’t been cleaned out since 1997.
Let’s set the scene: A normal Tuesday turns into something unusual when Gary miraculously falls into a coma while trying to evade his wife Linda’s demands to clean the gutters. Doctors said it was medically unexplainable; friends said it was Gary’s unparalleled commitment to procrastination.
Today, Linda, who has been married to Gary for 27 years, is known in her circle as the “Queen of Reminders.” She has a real bell that she rings to summon Gary to go on a mission (no joke). Jerry, two blocks away, heard the ringing and swore it is why his cat has anxiety. 🛎
Back to Gary. He lay calmly in his hospital bed, looking calm — unusual for a man whose natural state is “mild panic.” According to one extremely dubious source (well, it was Jerry), every time Linda sighed or mentioned the word “guts,” Gary could be heard muttering in bed, “Five more minutes.” 😴
Hospital visits have become a spectacle in the community. Linda sat by his bedside every day and told him about all the tasks that piled up around the house. She brought the infamous bell, perhaps hoping the familiar sound would wake him from his stupor. Spoiler: That’s not the case. But every time the bell rang, Gary’s right eye would twitch slightly. Doctors are still baffled, but our self-proclaimed coma expert Jerry claims it’s a telltale sign of a “nasty coma.” 😷
Therapists have gone on record saying this could be a groundbreaking discovery in marital dynamics. It has been suggested that Gary’s coma may have been an unconscious tactic to avoid confrontation, or it may have been just a way for him to avoid fixing the ceiling fan.
At the same time, a gambling game began in the hospital cafeteria. Bets ranged from “Gary will wake up when the new football season starts” to “Gary will outlast the unopened IKEA shelf Linda purchased in 2005.”
Linda, on the other hand, remains hopeful. She began reading self-help books on communication at Gary’s bedside, glancing occasionally to gauge his reactions. Last Tuesday, she was reading an article about “Doing Housework with Love” and swear to God, Gary’s heart monitor beeped erratically for a full minute.
Let’s be honest, who among us doesn’t want to pretend to be temporarily unresponsive to evade responsibility? Gary may be the pioneer we didn’t know we needed. Now he continues to lie there, a man so invested in his marital difficulties that he is practically a medical miracle.
So if you feel overwhelmed by your daily routine, think of Gary, who would rather be in a coma than face difficulties at home. Yes, it’s extreme, but you have to admire his dedication…or is it desperation? Regardless, Gary’s story is a fun reminder that sometimes you avoid doing chores without even realizing it. 🤣
Thank you so much for reading! ❤❤❤
