The Myth of the All-Knowing Adult
From Bedtime Monsters to Car Bills
Here I am, a 30-year-old man with a wife, two wonderful children, and a cat who thinks he owns the place. My 20-year-old self would be impressed.
But I don’t have it all figured out, and that’s perfectly okay.
I’ve realized I’ll never become an all-knowing, all-capable adult. The pursuit of planning and perfection is unnecessary. Life keeps spinning, and so do I.
Reflecting on my journey into adulthood, I’ve learned three key lessons:
- Nobody has everything figured out: We’re all still learning, every day.
- We’re still the same kids: The games are just a bit more complex.
- Living in the Now: We need to remind ourselves who we really are.
Let me share a bit of my story.
|| The Myth of the All-Knowing Adult
Growing up, I never had that magical moment where I suddenly felt like an adult. There wasn’t a day I woke up and thought, “Well, I guess I’m an adult now.”
Instead, adulthood is (still) an ongoing process. Each step forward brings new responsibilities, new challenges, and yes, new (back) pains.
Reflecting on my life, I feel blessed to have parents who always showed their vulnerable side. From day one, they reminded me that it’s okay to get things wrong, to feel anxious, and to not have a plan.
There wasn’t a single moment when the illusion of their parents-are-gods perfection shattered because they never pretended to be perfect. I love the elegance and simplicity of it.
Their openness created a safe space for me. They taught me that not knowing all the answers or making mistakes isn’t a sign of failure; it’s a part of being yourself.
One of the most adult things you can do is acknowledge that you don’t have it all figured out.
Life is a never-ending series of adjustments. You learn to do your taxes, manage office politics, and maybe even master the art of making decent spaghetti. But there will always be more lemons to come.
|| From Bedtime Monsters to Car Bills
Popular culture often paints adulthood as one phase of life where everything falls into place, and you become this all-knowledgeable being.
But it’s more like living in an endless movie, and you keep asking yourself: “Why does life give me a plot twist every month?”
As an adult with a car that always seems to need repairs, I’m longing for the simplicity of childhood. Back then, the biggest monsters were the ones under the bed, not the next car repair bill. And to be honest, sometimes those monsters seem a lot less daunting than the real-world problems I face today.
But here’s the thing: every adult around you — yes, even the ones who seem like they have it all together — are just children who grew taller and got better at pretending.
We are all just grown-up kids playing the game of life with slightly more complex rules.
The same person filing taxes and attending meetings once believed in monsters under the bed.
|| Living in the Now
What’s now? I won’t tell you to be happy, work on your mindset, or create your own meaning in life.
To be honest, sometimes I think adulthood is simply learning to be right here in the moment or at least learning how to feel it.
We are sometimes so caught up in (1) the ongoing things happening around us, (2) all the experiences from the past, and (3) expectations and worries for the future, that we forget to live.
You don’t need to break free, eat in Italy, pray in India, and, well, I’m not sure where Julia Roberts found love (Was it Bali?). You can do it right now. As Oscar Wilde said, “To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.”
I’m not quite sure what happens next, but I love the realizations that hit me during the day: I have free will, I’m really breathing, and, damn, I have bad posture.
Maybe that’s all we need in the first place — getting back to ourselves, despite all the responsibilities and bills.
It’s about taking our time to understand who we are, what’s best for us, and to remember how to (day)dream.
I think that’s the moment when you stop existing and start living as an adult. Adulthood offers us the opportunity to truly live.
That’s all.
|| We’re All Figuring It Out Together
So here I am, a 30-year-old man who still feels like a kid in many ways. I pay bills and buy groceries, but I also laugh at childish jokes, get excited about new LEGO sets, and continue to watch One Piece.
To anyone who feels uncertain — welcome to the club, same here! It’s all about lifelong learning.
No need to have a plan or all the answers. Things keep changing daily. If you ever feel lost or overwhelmed, remember, it’s the very definition of “normal.”
But with every challenge, we learn a bit more about ourselves and the world around us. Step by step, we develop resilience and expertise as we collect life’s lessons and experiences. Talk, discuss, and share your ideas, concerns, thoughts, and feelings with those close to you.
We’ll face it together.
And if my thoughts don’t convince you, take a cue from my cat: sometimes, the best way to handle life’s complexities is to take a nap. The sun will rise and he’ll try again.
