The Real Reason You Can’t Stick to a Routine

Photo by Karsten Winegeart on Unsplash

You’re not lazy. You’re not weak. And no, you don’t “lack discipline.” If you keep starting routines and dropping them, there’s probably a deeper reason. The routine isn’t the problem. The problem is what you expect it to fix.

Most people build routines to solve a feeling — not a task. You feel scattered, so you create a schedule. You feel stuck, so you set big goals. You feel bad, so you write a plan to feel better. That’s normal. But it sets you up to fail.

Why? Because once the feeling fades, the routine does too. You didn’t build it to last — you built it to save you. And when it doesn’t, you drop it. Then you blame yourself.

But you were never the issue. Your expectations were.

Routines work best when they grow from who you are, not who you wish you were. If you hate mornings, a 5 a.m. wake-up won’t stick. If you don’t like running, buying fancy shoes won’t help. You don’t need a better system. You need a truer one.

We also make routines too tight. We want control. We plan every minute. But life doesn’t follow your calendar. One late meeting, one sick day, one bad night of sleep — and the whole thing breaks. You feel like you failed. So you quit.

Instead, try building loose routines. Make space for life to happen. Have a plan, but leave…