Member-only story
The Silence of a Father’s Love
A leader always tries to keep a tough front so that those who follow him don’t fall apart.
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I used to always wonder why my father stayed so distant, why he never hugged me fully, and why he never expressed love the way mothers usually do.
But now I understand that society never teaches men how to express their pain. Women might still vent their sadness and get some relief, but if men do the same, they’re often called overly emotional or feminine.
Today, when I’m in the same stage of life where I have to carry the same responsibilities my father once did, I realize that I, too, have stopped showing emotions. And I don’t express them now because it feels like I’ve taken his place, and if I show any weakness, my family might become weak too.
I don’t know who else might relate to this experience, but it’s incredibly hard to keep everything bottled up inside even when you miss your father deeply, you learn to suppress that pain, even when all you want to do is cry uncontrollably.
Now I understand why my father couldn’t express himself or why he didn’t want to appear weak in front of us. Because I’m in that same place now.