We All Fear Something: A Memoir of Anxieties We Didn’t Order but Still Got Charged For
Let’s be honest: we’re all scared of something.
Running out of money.
Not being beautiful enough.
Dying alone in a flat full of expired oat milk.
Accidentally liking someone’s Instagram photo at 2 a.m.
But what if the fear isn’t even yours?
What if it’s your mum’s? Your uncle’s? Or that neighbour who once told you dogs can understand everything you say… and sue you?
Here’s the thing: fears can be inherited. Passed down. Absorbed like secondhand smoke but with more emotional baggage and fewer warning labels.
The Two Fears We’re Actually Born With
Psychologists claim we enter the world with just two built-in fears:
- Loud noises
- Falling
That’s it.
No fear of rejection.
No dread of public speaking or double blue ticks without a reply.
Just gravity and volume.
Everything else? Installed later usually by family, media, or that one teacher who said you were “too sensitive.”
Are Some Fears Pre-Installed?
Some scientists say we’re biologically primed to fear snakes or spiders.
Others say we’re just really bad at choosing wildlife documentaries.
Yes, we may be wired to learn certain fears more quickly.
But we’re not born afraid of dogs, elevators, or opening emails from “no-reply@banksomething.com.”
Most fears? Learned behaviours.
Fear by Inheritance
One day you might realise: “This fear? This one right here? It’s not mine.”
Maybe it came from a parent who feared poverty so deeply they unplugged the toaster to save electricity.
Maybe from a caregiver who whispered, “Don’t touch that, it’s dirty,” and turned you into someone who fears both animals and buffet tables.
Now you say you’re “not a dog person.”
Rethink.
How Fear Gets Passed Down
No trauma needed. Just repetition.
A child told, “Don’t touch the dog, it’s filthy,” doesn’t need a bite to be afraid. They just need to hear it 37 times.
They watch. They absorb. They rehearse. They learn to fear.
Return to Sender
The good news? You can send that fear back.
No need to keep styling your life around your mum’s terror of “looking cheap” or your grandad’s Cold War plan involving tinned beans.
Burn the script and say you don’t play. Then keep the dog and go. Believe me, it will not sue you.
