When You Are Feeling Under-Appreciated
I Didn’t Cook for My Family for Five Days
With a family of five, it’s almost impossible to please everyone simultaneously.
My children constantly change their minds about what foods they like and don’t like.
It can sometimes become overbearing, constantly trying to plan and cook meals, only to have one or two family members say they don’t want it or they will cook their own food.
With the ever-growing grocery prices, food has become too expensive for us to cook multiple meals a night.
I am by no means a master chef, and I don’t mind my family fending for themselves, but when two or three people are in the kitchen cooking multiple meals, that drives our grocery bill up a whole other level.
On an average week, we fork out around three hundred dollars or more on food every three to four days, and that doesn’t include the nights we may eat out, typically one night during the weekend, always fast food because anything else would be too costly.
I have been experimenting with different strategies to minimize our grocery bills as much as possible.
It’s become a game of,
“How much money can I save this week?”
A few weeks ago, I was nearly dancing at the register when I managed to lower our bill to $198. Under $200, those groceries ended up lasting us six days!! (cue my shock and excitement)
Sure, I didn’t need any condiments or taxable items that week, but it was an accomplishment to be celebrated.
Sometimes, it’s easy to feel under-appreciated for the effort you put into making lists, trying to feed your family healthy, affordable meals, and finally cooking the meals, only to have members of your family refuse to eat them because they decided that particular week that they no longer “like” the food you have prepared.
I’m sure there are a few mamas and papas out there who would understand this frustration.
I decided to take matters into my own hands and held a family meeting, which I’m known for in our family. The kids love it; cue the eye rolls.
I began by sharing my feelings of under-appreciation in an open dialogue in the hopes of providing my family with an opportunity to understand and change.
By the end of the meeting, we had decided that my family would put themselves in my shoes and plan, prepare, and cook for themselves for five days straight.
My children are all getting older and fully capable of fending for themselves occasionally, as their constant need to “fix their food” has proven.
Truth be told, I welcomed the opportunity to take a “break” from the ever-dooming questions of,
“What’s for dinner?”
My kids began planning their meals, and I was excited to see what lists they came up with for the five days.
Surprisingly, I wasn’t surprised by any of the lists I received.
My son wanted things as simple as possible—pop-tarts, Ramen Noodles, eggs, etc.
My youngest also wanted simple things: mac and cheese cups, lunchmeat sandwiches, peanut butter and jelly, etc.
My oldest proved to have the longest list, and I was happy to see her healthy picks: spinach tortilla shells, tomatoes, fruits, chicken, etc.
Going through the grocery store and putting everything into my cart, I was worried about the cost everything would add up to.
Our shopping cart hasn’t been filled to the top in weeks, maybe even months, but this particular week, it was.
I was delighted to learn the bill was more than our $198 week, but still less than I had imagined.
On the first night, everyone was to fend for themselves; no one seemed to care that I wasn’t cooking for them. This made me both glad and a little hurt.
However, the second night, I felt a little guilty as I cooked pork chops, green bean casserole, and mac and cheese. I watched as my daughter drooled over them.
She made multiple comments about how good it looked and smelled, but ultimately, she decided to fix her mac and cheese cups that night.
As the ‘mom guilt’ began to sink in, I offered her some bites of my pork chops, but to my surprise, she turned me down.
On the third night, we were confronted with the possibility of a tornado due to storms surrounding the area. My children were happy to fix themselves lunchmeat sandwiches and peanut butter and jelly. I continued with my original dinner plans and fixed a dish in the oven.
On the fourth night, everyone rallied again, happy to fix their own food.
By the fifth night, I was questioning if my decision to have them fix their food for five days was having the reverse effect of what I had intended: for my family to realize the extent of planning and cooking a meal required.
Although, if I was being entirely honest, I’d say the “meals” my children were fixing for themselves, excluding my eldest daughter, weren’t so much as dinner meals but something you’d snack on or have for lunch.
Still, I knew my family wouldn’t starve, and that’s all that mattered.
At the beginning of the new week, I held a meeting once more. It was time to decide how my family felt about the previous week and how they had to plan and fix food for themselves.
In the end, my eldest daughter asked that I only fix food for her a couple of times a week because she rather enjoyed having food just for her, and she decided she wanted the practice of learning and fixing new foods.
The rest of my family, however, was more than happy to have Mom back in the kitchen.
We are still working on lowering our grocery bill, and I’ve developed a few tricks over time, but knowing my family will be eating what I fix without worrying about multiple meals a night is a welcoming feeling.
Thank you to all who read this to the end. I’d love to hear in the comments: What are some ways you have felt under-appreciated, and did you do anything about it?
Feel free to offer up some claps of encouragement while you are at it. XOXO Tammie. 🙂
I’d also like to take a moment to appreciate and thank a few individuals I’ve been connecting with lately; I hope you take the time to check them out as well. Make sure to follow and read some of their articles. They are a significant part of the Medium Community.
(Please let me know if you would like to be added or subtracted from the list.)
Jérémie. ASAD EDUCATE Anas Aladham Ccgordon Denis Gorbunov Ashllyn T. 💐 Midnight Young Mark Baquiran ALEX KIRKLAND Mystical Aries Jaipal_writes Deepa Singh Beniwal Mike Sansone Jeff Russell Mr. Plan ₿ ✨ Bridget Webber Ram Mo Goran Vinchi Oluwatosin Ade Ajibade Ute Luppertz 💫 Kamal O. Touhami Yana Bostongirl Bin Jiang Ivy Gooden Cassidy Ellsworth-Gonzales Tristan Tell Devsomesh Nic Rafael Lori Stratton Martynas Ki. (@strangecash) Carl Jeffers The Idealist Ryan Canady Aaron Waddell Jolka
*Tammie is an aspiring health and life coach with a background in the school system. She has worked with kids from preschool through sixth grade and the SPED and library departments. Tammie is currently taking a writing class. She has three kids, two dogs, and one amazing husband. You can often find her sitting on her front porch and watching all the cool kids play in her yard. You can also find her at https://www.tammie-fralick.com.
