“Your Hair is Fine But Your Eyebrows Look Like Shit”
The advice you ask for is not always the advice you need
I was at my friend’s place, a small gathering and we were all hanging out. I could tell my friend’s wife was feeling a little left out because we were reminiscing about old times and she didn’t really have much to contribute, so I decided to have a side conversation with her.
I asked her about my hair, I have been thinking of doing something new with it and wanted a female opinion. After all, I am single and I’m not trying to change things up to impress the bros. I started describing what I was going for, showing her the sides and front of my head and gesturing exactly what I imagined doing. Probably going into too much unnecessary detail, but she was a good sport and listened while looking at me intently.
When I finally finished she gave me her two cents.
The hair is fine, but I think you should to do something about those eyebrows.
I was floored.
Excuse me? What? What’s wrong with my eyebrows? Wait, what are we even talking about, I was asking about hair. My eyebrows are a problem? Nobody has ever told me this before.
I found a mirror and looked at myself. I really looked up close at my eyebrows for the first time and learned a lot. And what I learned is they are messy. Hairs going out in all directions. And I can get away with it a little bit because the further the hairs go out, the smaller and lighter the hairs get, but they definitely spread out a lot. There are even small hairs on my eyelids! I don’t know if that is normal or not but I did not like what I saw.
I think men typically are pretty ignorant about personal grooming, at least when compared to women. Don’t get me wrong, I do the basics. I floss, I shower, I shave. But I don’t think I would ever have taken a good hard look at my eyebrows unless I was specifically told they were a mess.
Maybe the reason men don’t care has something to do with institutionalized sexism, society putting an emphasis on how women look because corporations want to sell beauty products (Note to self: Don’t go down a ‘corporation’ rabbit hole right now, or this will end up being a completely different story). Or perhaps it’s because there is a stigma about men who put too much effort into their looks, it coming off as effeminate or metrosexual. Or maybe men are just lazy.
I still haven’t done anything with my eyebrows. I look at them in the mirror every day. And I want to start but I am worried about what I will end up looking like. Mainly, I am worried I won’t know when to stop. That I will keep plucking and plucking until I have eyebrows that are only two hairs thick. Big yikes.
But I do thank her for pointing this out to me. Even though my initial reaction was shock and horror, I can now grow from it. Admittedly, this growth is purely surface level, but it’s still something gained. And none of my friends were ever brave enough to tell me to get my eyebrows under control.
To be fair, most likely they probably never even noticed my eyebrows or cared about them. They have their own problems and insecurities.
I will probably try plucking a few hairs after I finish writing this. Maybe just start with a few on the edges and do a few more tomorrow. Dip a toe into the pool, so to speak. Wish me luck, hopefully I won’t go too crazy and have to draw new eyebrows in with a Sharpie.
