One thing led to another. So, I had to leave.

“One thing led to another. So, I had to leave.”, I say as I lay down in the grass in the park, no one aside me. It is 6 pm already and I am all tired. Hopefully, I will be all energetic and enthusiastic as I wake up. But for now all I need is a deep sound sleep.

I used to imagine a lot when I read back then in my school days and my fingers used to dance with the words, sometimes the pen in my fingers. The flow of words and the rhythmic hands, you could observe me as a composer who holds the musical sticks and moves his hands, the music would just be soothing, I could feel the music with closed eyes, and fingers dancing with the words.

Nowadays, with every breathe I feel saddened. But I don’t remember what I think of or speak about. All I feel is a heavy heart, and it is sometimes okay. I have accepted, one thing will just lead to another, and I will have to leave.

Have you ever wondered why a girl who never dared to sing, sings lullaby for her sweet little child, to make her smile and fall asleep? That child must have felt what it is like to feel the stars twinkle and the moon smile bright, as she listens her mother sing the lullaby. Divinity, she must have felt it !!!!

I keep murmuring words. Why do I keep murmuring? Am I the only one? Are there others like me, desperate to train their mind not to murmur? That silent invocation of few seconds where I either counted the number of heartbeats, or utter inside trying to shut my inner self silent, sometimes taking deep breathes, will that really contribute to the world peace?

But what about the inner peace ? Am I being disrespectful?

I hope(hope is a dangerous word) it has been hours I have lied down. But I know the enemy is around — a lot of time has not passed, it has been a habit to think so much of random things in so less time. I dare not to open my eyes, I dare not to get up, I dare not to get defeated, I dare not to leave. But still, one thing will lead to another and I will have to leave, eventually.