5 Small Ways to Stop Overthinking
“Your self-talk is the channel of behaviour change” — Gino Norris.
Nothing will ever seem good enough, and there will never be a perfect moment to start.
Give me enough time, and I can tell you one hundred reasons why it won’t work. No, really. 1. Someone has already done it, 2. I don’t know enough yet, 3. I could go on, but that would make for a very uninspiring first article.
The truth is, I’m 19. (If you are still reading, then you’ve proven me wrong on 24. You’re too young for anyone to give you the time of day.) I’m 19, and I love writing, so why has it taken me one week to type a few words and submit my first article?
You could say fear — but I’ve abseiled far too many times for that to stop me. Perfectionism? Perhaps, but I have a messy room, and it doesn’t bother me one bit. Maybe feelings of inadequacy… not quite.
Actually, it’s a hybrid of a beast I call overthinking.
Overthinking is the stage that comes directly after any revelation or discovery, hiding under the guise of ‘logic and planning’ but coming under ‘self-sabotage.’
I’ll elaborate — so, imagine that you just found a fantastic article on how someone grew a six-figure company out of their garage. Wow, so inspiring. Your initial thoughts could be positive, and you might even relate with the author, seeing yourself easily going through the same process as them.
Wait. Process? What process? They didn’t mention that in the article! Do I have to go through a process to get to 6 figures? If so, which type of process? How many types of process are there, and which one is the best Can I even afford the best process? When I Google ‘process,’ it just comes up with a bunch of advanced tech stuff…Okay, I clearly don’t know enough to do this, I’m out of my depth, I’m going to quit while I’m ahead.
As strange as that example was, it’s a pretty accurate recreation of the beginning of most of my overthinking moments. Typically, researching an area before you delve in is good practice.
However, it’s one thing to educate yourself and another to completely psyche yourself out — and whether you want to admit it or not, you do know the difference.
So if you found yourself resonating with my words in any way, here are five steps to overcome your habit of overthinking everything to the ground. Oh, and I can give this advice because I did it myself to (finally) write this article.
1. Stop overthinking
Okay, okay, I know. “This can’t seriously be the first step!”
Let me explain — the act of thinking is entirely autonomous and innate — it’s not something we switch on and off, right? Wrong.
While thinking is autonomous, overthinking is not. Overthinking is something you put time, energy, and intention into. If it feels autonomous, that’s only because you’ve done it so often that it now comes naturally. It takes retraining yourself to get rid of bad habits.
But the essential element is the awareness you are doing it. Once you know you’re doing it, you can stop it. Anytime you catch yourself overthinking, stop it dead in its tracks.
Say to yourself, “actually, you know what? I’m not going to overthink this.” Make the decision to stop overthinking.
2. Eliminate negative self-talk
Now that you are aware you’re prone to overthinking, it’s so much easier to use it to your advantage.
You can 100% stop over-thinking, but that takes time, like any bad habit you want to quit, but there are ways to stop the negative impact that overthinking has on your life right now.
Essentially, if you’re going to go into system overload, then why not hack the system and input positivity rather than negativity?
Internal dialogue is everything when it comes to overthinking. If all your overthinking thoughts were positive, it wouldn’t be such a bad thing after all.
Rather than searching for problems and weaknesses, try focusing on your strengths. Turn the list of reasons you can’t, into an endless list of reasons you can. If you could do the former, there’s no reason you can’t do the latter.
3. Equip yourself
Now you’re able to put a positive spin on everything, you’re wearing your badge with pride. You can run into the jungle and scream with all the air in your lungs, “I’M AN OVER-THINKER!”
It feels good to embrace who you are because that’s what makes you unique, and that’s what gives you your edge. You see your strengths before your weaknesses, and that’s the secret to being unstoppable, it is a powerful yet invisible change.
Surely it isn’t that simple?
Well, yes and no. Yes, it’s simple because all you have to do is do it. That means implementing the first two steps into your life — because you want to and because you can.
On the other hand, no, it isn’t that simple because there are so many ways to do it. But that’s the beauty of it — your way could be simple if you make it simple. But if you don’t want it to be simple, it can be as elaborate as your heart desires.
For example, Step 1 for Bob could mean giving himself a physical slap across the face anytime he catches himself overthinking, followed by running five laps around his kitchen. Step 2 could be repeatedly listening to a recording he made of him listing all his strengths, and reciting it like a mantra.
For Linda, Step 1 and 2 could be combined as a post-it note on her MacBook saying, “don’t overthink it, you can do this.”
Find what works for you through trial and error, and make those your weapons of choice. You can change them up regularly or stick to them like glue — whatever floats your boat.
But make sure you have an actionable way to implement Steps 1 and 2 into your life, one that works for you — not for Kelly down the road.
4. Live in the present
The most liberating step to conquering over-thinking is to readjust your internal timeframe.
Not only will this help you stop overthinking, but this will also impact your overall mental health and well-being by refusing to dwell in the past. Not your past mistakes or previous outright failures, not even the past successes you’ve had. The past is in the past — leave it there.
The same goes for the future. Stop worrying about ‘ten years from now,’ or ‘the next six months’ because, chances are, you’ll easily psyche yourself out and ruin today.
And trust me, you don’t want to ruin today.
It’s easy to allow yourself to get into a soul-wrenching rut when you hyper-focus on a time that presently, you don’t even exist in. So see it as merely resetting a faulty dial, and turn your invisible internal timeframe dial back to the present anytime it lags behind or rushes ahead.
Reset your mind and think, “what can I do this very hour, regardless of tomorrow or yesterday?”
5. Just do it
The 5th Step is simple: just do it.
Save and re-read this article anytime you need a reminder; we are in this together, over-thinkers. We can conquer the world if we learn to control our superpower.
So, I’m signing off this support group AA style — my name is Bea, and I’m an over-thinker.
