A Letter to My Former Flame
It’s been a series of one of those days where doing nothing gets you off my mind.
Dear ex,
I hope I can still address you with ‘love.’ It’s been a series of one of those days where doing nothing gets you off my mind. Even the silliest thing remind me of you (toothbrush and rain).
Why is it so hard to get over you? Why is it that, no matter what I try, I always find myself coming back to this feeling?
These feelings are starting to feel like home.
It is not that I don’t wanna move on, but if I do, I will lose everything I once had with you. These memories and songs are all that is left.
How can I let it go?
How did you let go?
Was it easy because your excuse made it clear, I was perfect?
Was this not perfect enough for you?
Nevermind these questions. You know me.
I ask a lot, assume a lot. And most importantly, I love a lot.
I believe my love and attention drifted you away. I believe we were in different phases. I believe we were meant to be, but timing is a fickle thing.
I wanted you, you wanted life.
I’m sorry. My head’s a mess, I’m a mess. I don’t want to feel this feeling anymore. I’m tired. I’m tired of fighting for your attention, the need to want to talk to you, to know about you and your feelings.
“Just friends” is not working out.
I could try again, for you. But, if I did, I wouldn’t be able to meet me in the eye.
I can’t fall for uncertainty anymore. It scares me, that somewhere in it I will find comfort and when you have to leave again, I will have nothing left.
Amidst this chaos, I want to thank you.
Thank you for being honest, for letting go when you had too. Like you say, “I have no regrets.”
I have no regrets loving you, bub. Wherever you are, I hope you realize that I loved you.
I hope you find someone who loves you just as much as you love yourself and cars.
I miss us.
Yours Truly,
P
