The Harmful Beauty Standards Women Face That Prey on Our Insecurities
We tell women they aren’t good enough.
A woman’s outside appearance dictates the way society will treat her. Even in those who meet the standard of beauty, there are still insecurities residing within them. Why? Because women have been made to feel we are only valued by our looks and not by who we are. The perfect image of beauty feels impossible to reach and the climb there is not without its consequences.
We live in a culture where we feel obligated to criticize everyone’s outside appearance. If we aren’t criticizing them to their faces or behind a screen on social media, we do so suggestively. Wherever we fall short, companies make up for it by producing and advertising products that convince us we need to fix something about ourselves. With the rise of using filters and apps to edit pictures on social media, beauty standards have become even more unrealistic. As we try to meet this standard, companies are profiting off of the insecurities they created.
The extent to which we focus on looks honestly baffles me as our outside appearance is not something we can choose. Our face says nothing about the person we are. What we can choose is to be kind, caring, and good human beings.
What do people see once they look past the pretty face?
People Will Never Be Afraid to Comment On Your Looks
In high school, people started telling me “you should wear eyeliner” or “why don’t you wear makeup?” I just shrugged it off and moved on with my day. But it could’ve gone in a completely different direction. It could’ve ruined my self-esteem and made me do something I wasn’t interested in doing. If I started wearing makeup it wouldn’t have been for myself but because people decided to give me unsolicited comments on my looks.
We are told we need to hide our imperfections, which really aren’t imperfections at all.
Throughout my life, I was never one to wear makeup. Partly because I was lazy and partly because I didn’t like how it felt on my face. Full disclosure: yes, I’ve worn makeup more than a handful of times in my life.
I try to have a neutral opinion towards makeup. I admire the skill it takes for someone to use it in a way that accentuates their already beautiful features but I hate that it contributes to the toxic beauty standards women are expected to meet.
Now I’m older and more aware of the inconsistencies of expectations of women. We are told we need to hide our imperfections, which really aren’t imperfections at all. We are bombarded with messages everywhere we go that we need this and that to be worthy whether it be with expensive clothes, makeup, skincare products, hair extensions, a perfect body (whatever that means), etc.
When I was in college, I had gained the “freshman 15.” When my dad said I was gaining weight, I became conscious of my weight for the first time in my life and went on a diet. I had not taken notice of my weight gain until he had pointed it out. While I did gain weight because I was eating fast food multiple times a week which was admittedly unhealthy, it was my appearance that concerned him, not the way I was eating. All the other times in my life I have been told I was “too skinny.”
People will always have an opinion about you. But it’s not your job to satisfy their unrealistic expectations. It’s better to realize sooner than later that people will always judge you no matter what. There’s no point in trying to reach a standard of beauty that doesn’t even exist in real life. We’ve been taught to not like what we look like. But the features we were born with make us different from everyone else.
Social Media and Targeted Marketing
It seems as more time passes by, more and more products are being invented. There’s a product to “fix” or cover anything that shows we are human and naturally aging. This can range from products to get rid of stretch marks, cover under-eye bags, or prevent wrinkles.
We have access to filters and apps that can completely change the way we look. When we use these filters we start to not like our own faces. Then we post these on social media for all to see. Then other girls see this and that’s who they aspire to be. It’s an unhealthy cycle that needs to be broken.
Companies love to take advantage of this. They prey on our insecurities and convince us that we are not good enough and that all we have to offer is based on our looks and bodies. They show heavily photoshopped women using their products. Even those women don’t look like that in real life. But constantly being exposed to these images of perfect-looking women distort our reality and make us shoot for perfection that doesn’t exist.
We are expected to wear makeup, shave, use expensive skincare products, get manicures/pedicures, get cosmetic procedures done, etc. The list goes on. Everyone has signs of life on their bodies. But when we all try to cover it up, we start to criticize those who don’t. We are given high standards to live up to and even when we meet them, these “imperfections” are still used to knock other women down.
We are trying so hard to look like someone else that we lose ourselves in the process.
What Really Matters
Our outside appearance can dictate the advantages we have in life so I understand why it is so important to maintain it. But nothing shines brighter than who you are and how you treat people. Once people get to know you, all they have to go off of is your personality. While I know this isn’t currently how the world works, I believe we can eventually normalize judging someone based on their personality rather than their looks.
It’s like when you get to know someone over time and suddenly, they become more beautiful to you. It’s not because they became more beautiful on the outside but because you got to know what kind of person they are.
The standard of beauty these days is to have no imperfections. But imperfections make us human. Imperfections say we have lived a life filled with pain, joy, and laughter. If we try to cover up our differences we are covering up what has made us unique from everyone else. Imagine if we all tried to live up to the “beauty” standards of today. We would all look the same.
What’s beautiful now may change in a couple of years. Thin eyebrows and a thin body with no curves used to be in. Now it's the opposite. Just like hairstyles and clothing, things will become less trendy sooner or later.
The standards are unattainable at this point. It’s not beauty we are shooting for. We are shooting to look less human. We are all trying to look perfect but no one does. As long as we keep believing that filters, makeup, and apps are telling the truth about how influencers look on social media, we will continue to be reaching for a standard of beauty that doesn’t even exist among anyone.
What I Wish For Future Generations
I had no sense of style when I was 12 years old. Social media didn’t exist back then, at least not to the extent that it does right now. Those side by sides of what a 12-year-old now and what a 12-year-old then looked like might seem innocent at first. But when you look closely, it should deeply concern us. It’s not a coincidence that the rise of social media use heavily affects young girls’ perception of themselves. When I was 12, I didn’t think twice about what I was wearing. At this age, all you should have to worry about is being a kid.
If we continue to tell young girls to focus on their looks and to not embrace what makes them unique, these insecurities will stay with them until adulthood. I wish young girls were raised to see their internal value.
Instead, they grow up feeling they have to hide who they are. That they aren’t good enough. That the world won’t accept them for them. That they have to hide behind a façade.
It is not our fault. We live in a world that holds women to a higher standard just to get half of what men do. But no one but us can face these standards head-on and break through the wall of these limitations for the generations to come. Because if we are shooting for perfection now, what will it be like in 10 years? 20 years? 50 years? Will we soon be so concerned with our outside appearance that we forget to be good people? How far are we willing to go?
I wish for a world where every child learns to embrace what makes them different. Where they don’t look at themselves in the mirror and think of all the things they want to change about themselves. I want them to be valued by the person they are. I want them to grow up into strong confident adults who know what they want and aren’t afraid to go after it. I want them to be unapologetically them.
Be the person you needed growing up that should’ve told you that you are perfect the way you are even if society might say different. But in order to do this, change starts with us. Speak up if someone comments about anyone’s looks or body. If we want change, we are the only ones capable of creating it.
There’s pressure to not show our real selves because we won’t be accepted or meet everyone’s expectations. But we make those expectations. We decide what is accepted. We are a society.
The standard of beauty is always changing. What people call beautiful now is temporary. People will always judge you for the way you look. You can change everything about yourself and they will still have something negative to say. So you might as well just be you, perfect just the way you are.
You are not just a pretty face and a nice body. They just happen to carry your soul. What truly matters is who you are as a person, how you make people feel, and the impact you have on those around you.
