The Idea of Love Versus Reality
An attempt to find my Nemo.
Did I have it all wrong? Or did some really have it all?
I have always looked at the connection between love and people differently. Love should come effortlessly, but people need to make efforts to show it. Love can be modern or something straight out of a telenovela, but it’s the people that must be authentic.
People need to communicate, but love can be a comfortable silence.
People fight, but love fixes it.
People try to suffice their set standards, but love accepts the flaws.
Love is simple. People are complicated.
How hard is it to show someone you love them?
My opinion merely takes seconds. Why is it that we don’t do this enough?
Is it because we aren’t programmed to show someone we love them, or are we still stuck in the barter system?
You give me love and I shall do so in return. Equal quantity, but who’s measuring the quality here? Each time you receive something you feel isn’t worth, your quality decreases — hence the person who receives your low-quality love ends up feeling the same.
This cycle continues until we have nothing left to give, merely because we didn’t receive it.
Now we realize this isn’t working.
What is the next innovation?
Mindless dating.
The main objective of this is? You stay with a person until he/she is interested in you. One red flag, game over; although this doesn’t apply if the person is hot or if you’re attracted to toxic.
The rules are as simple as an Ariana Grande song: I see it, I like it, I want it, I got it. Once it gets boring, you can thank you next to the person.
But here’s a thought: feelings and emotions have no part whatsoever. Are we, humans, evolved enough to keep aside our emotions and make logical relationship decisions?
If yes, why is it that one can handle a relationship better, while the other can handle the break-up better?
If you’re wondering, I fall into the category where it takes seemingly forever to get out of a relationship with my breakup. What it is that I lacked? After searching for answers, I concluded that I lacked modernity.
Now don’t get me wrong. In this world of tinder, bumble, and sliding into Instagram DMs, I feel overwhelmed. Self-doubt never fails to creak in.
A constant reminder I got was this: you deserve better. To deserve better (again), I had to go through a relationship.
Relationships have turned into subscriptions. Where you know after some time: either you can’t afford it, or you’ve reached the limit of viewing screens. Or maybe it wasn’t your account, and the log-in credentials have been changed, or you’re sharing your subscription with multiple people.
Before anyone calls me out, understand that none of this is right or wrong, simply because life never comes with a user manual. So while you do you, I sit and think why my subscription ended. The warning that flashed on my screen? It was me, not you.
Now what?
I decide to buy shoes with the extra money I just earned. Just kidding.
Only if it were that simple, because, remember? People are complicated.
After what weeks seemed like months of overthinking and being in denial, it was time for the next phase.
Self-reflection therapy.
To do this, you need a well-functioning mind and a driven-but-broken heart. The initial excitement is real, almost like New Year’s resolutions. Yet a few weeks into Marie Kondo-ing your life, you get a notification.
Ding-ding! It’s time to give up. That is, either your subscription wants you back or another one is ready to bribe you with a 3-month free trial.
While this quick-fix seems to be working wonders on people, I’m still stuck at this: did I just mindlessly date my exes, or did it mean anything?
It’s probably the only question I wouldn’t want an answer to. I guess it’s time to let my mum know that I give up. She can find my Nemo — and I hope that my Nemo will understand love just as I do.
