Writing as Therapy During a Hard Life Period
For everyone who struggles to pick themselves up again after a hard time
My first really personal blog post was written when I was going through the hardest time I’d ever had in my whole life. It was like a scream to nowhere, and I believe that no one actually ever read this piece of darkness from my soul. But it helped me. It helped me to express my emotions (which I was hiding), helped to find my voice, helped me to set up a plan for taking myself out of this miserable position.
Writing healed me.
I heard this advice numerous times: find a therapist, or get a diary. I was wondering why these two supposedly quite opposite things (the first is a real person who talks to you directly, while the second is a piece of paper that keeps silent) stand as equal opportunities to make me feel better. I wasn’t ready to visit a real human, and writing was literally the only thing I could do during that time. My choice was obvious — I would start blogging.
It was creepy at first. I was hiding my feelings for too long, saying to everyone around me that I was okay and nothing was wrong. It was on purpose, of course.
My husband was on a long-term business trip for a few months, while I stayed at home with a newborn baby and a dog. For a few months, I was all alone. I had to fake that I was fine — so he did not worry about us, could do his job and come back home sooner. So, I faked that I was fine.
Six months after my very first blog post, I am absolutely sure that things are getting better now. My husband’s back, the baby is amazing, the dog is fluffy…
Me? I am finally good too, thank you! So how did writing save me? Here are a few ways.
Name the problem
You need to know your enemy to win the war. You need to know the problem to solve it. It’s not that easy, especially if you are stuck in a routine or dealing with an enormous amount of daily tasks. When you start writing, you need to find the correct words to describe all the thoughts in your head. You start thinking of the exact problem you face by giving it a name.
Overthink the problem in the background
You keep thinking of everything you are writing about in the background. People and their reactions, situations and your emotions, routines and tasks, the grocery shopping list for today and a to-do list for the day after tomorrow.
You know what? Your brain gets loaded with this information. It will give you an idea of what to do with the problem eventually. Give it time and more words. Describe it so many times so you can’t find any extra single phrase to fit the subject. And just wait. You are all in, and you will get the solution soon.
Research
The writer is a proper researcher. We can’t know everything, and nowadays we don’t need to. There is a tonne of information around — just ask. Go online, and try to find people who have the same problems you are having.
No, sorry. You are not that unique, and I believe you can easily find at least several good ideas regarding how other people managed their problems. Take it as an idea. Don’t copy. It won’t make sense. Rethink their experience and turn it in to your own success story.
Find a solution to the problem
Ta-daaam! You should have something on your mind by this point. Me, personally?
One time, I had up to five drafts of articles that described my problems. They were waiting until I found a solution for each one of them. And, one by one, they all were filled with ideas and finished! My problems were finished too. I found my solutions. I tried to change something in my life, just as I wrote it in the articles.
Share your problem with its solution
The next level is to share. It doesn’t matter if you send it to your family, post it on your Facebook account or create a web site and sign it with a nickname. Spread your words, and leave the problem far behind.
You’re done with it. Finished. Starting a new page with new issues. Save it for future generations, or for someone in a similar situation.
Write again
You know what to do. Find another thing that troubles your heart, and write everything you can about it. Look at me now. I was thinking about this superior fact that writing was my therapy, and I managed to collect my thoughts in this article.
Read it later
You’ll be amazed how many details our memory hides. Six months later, I read my articles with a calm smile. I remembered it all — but in general. I’ve forgotten my reactions and the tiny details of the stories. Details matter, though.
This is all about my path, my experiences, and my choices. I am responsible for it.
I am the writer of my life story.
Bottom line
When toddlers are struggling with their emotions, the first help is to name the emotion. The child remembers it, and someday they will learn how to manage each particular situation. Women are strong. We can deal with many difficulties. But when we name them, they become easier to beat. Write them down, and forget they were that hard.
