CURATION

As a Curator For Urban Dictionary, We Apologize to Everyone Named Karen

I can make fetch happen

Hogan Torah
4 min readOct 18, 2020

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Photo by Pineapple Supply Co. from Pexels

I’ve been a curator for Urban Dictionary (UD) for a decade. If you are able to successfully add 3 words and definitions into the dictionary that are approved, they ask you to moderate. After 5 years I was asked to curate. Curation is the last stop before it hits the board. Website. Whatever.

Try curating it. Image Urban Dictionary.

The moderators have hopefully sifted through the crap for a trusted human to review.

That human is me. Or three to ten other people. Here’s some examples of what I see in a day:

Urban Dictonary

This is the reason I exist. Making sure stupid junior high bullshit doesn’t make it into UD. It’s mean, hate filled trash. No one should have this under their name.

Sucks she rejected you but she made the right choice. Go directly to hell and take this garbage with you.

Urban Dictionary

It’s kinda funny. It incorporated a Walmart which is good. I had to think about this one for a minute. If it wasn’t for the normal activities at the end it would be a no. Welcome to the zeitgeist Mr. Purp.

Urban Diction

Okay. Great. No. You don’t want to know what I cut off. Ew.

Teenie Weenie Afro. So, curly hair. That’s not going to work. Mainly because it’s not funny. If it’s not funny then what’s the point. This is not going to catch on. Nice try and keep submitting, it’s going to be a no from me dog.

Urban Dictionary

Yes. Absolutely a thousand times. Stuff like this is why UD exists. Hilarious. I hope no one ever does this this to me… Though it would be impressive. Approved.

Urban Dictionary

No. Don’t get back together with your ex. That sentence example sucks. Nice try. Rewrite and make it funny. But there’s no button but for that. So Keep Out!

Urban Dictionary

The sentence example is stupid but the definition, “The fear of not being with Draco Malfoy” carries this. Funny. Love it. Welcome to the zeitgeist.

Urban Dictonary

Names rarely get in. This is possible and I don’t believe that there’s an existing word for it. The only way you will get a name definition in is if you use it for something that doesn’t have a name that could use one. Add it!

Speaking of names getting in, I’d like to take the opportunity to apologize on the behalf of Urban Dictionary to everyone named Karen. It seemed funny at the time. I did not think this would catch on like it did. I am sorry. We are sorry.

Urban Dictionary

We’re not taking it down though. Once it’s in, it’s in. I approved this. If it’s funny and unique, it’s going to get in. Sucks for Karens.

My favorite entry to the Urban Dictionary is Pineapple.

Urban Dictonary

To answer your question, no I can not get you into the Urban Dictionary. I’m not in the Urban Dictionary under Hogan Torah and I’ve been working for them for free for 15 years. Though a previous screen name of mine is.

If you want in you’ll need to do it yourself. The only way in is through the front gate. Do something spectacular, or talk shit about people looking up words. Pineapple has already been done though.

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Hogan Torah
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Counterculture journalist 💊 humorist 🤪 social media hegemon 🤴 Google me, I autofill 🕶️