Life Lessons From A 22-Year-Old (Who Knows Nothing)
Experience includes reading more self-help articles than I care to admit
At the end of the tough day, I will often find myself back in the same place: Google. I am a Google aficionado, turning to it whenever I find myself clueless. Most often, I Google the obvious: how long does zucchini keep? How old is the Queen? What time is it in Seoul?
Where I find myself trapped is in Googling the less obvious — questions with no clear answer. How can I manage my anxiety? How can I improve my self-esteem? What can I do to get a better job? These questions are so specialized to my personal situation that the more I read, the more I am swamped with conflicting information. To the anxiety question: try to relax, but keep as busy as possible. For self-esteem: be yourself, but augment yourself with beauty treatments. For a better job: quit your job, but stay at your job and try to climb the ladder.
So why do I do this? I am a child of the information age. I grew up with the internet at my disposal. I cannot speculate about my whole generation, but personally, it is second-nature for me to reach out to the internet for help. Now, it is a habit I am trying to kick. This desire started when I went to the doctor for a stomach ache. Initially relaxed, I Googled my symptoms and became convinced I had ulcers, or pancreatitis, or some life-threatening illness. After hours of sitting in the waiting room, I had a diagnosis — a stomach ache, along with a piece of advice to stop consulting “Dr. Google.”
I’m not trying to live off the grid. All I want is to regain some trust in myself, and in my mistakes. Even when I am not Googling specific questions, I am reading “Life Lessons” articles. Offline, I read memoir and self-help books. But why do I feel the need to get everything right the first time? I am 22 years old. Everyone says your 20s are a time for experimentation, exploration, and failure. I am letting other people do it all for me.
Of course, it is valuable to learn from other peoples’ experience. I do not plan to stop reading this content entirely. But I need to start reading it for what it is — a telling of what worked well for other people. It is great to collect wisdom and expand your horizons, but I need to figure out what works for me on my own. I want to find encouragement in online advice, not strict guidance.
I will continue to use Google for the black-and-white questions. The internet is an incredible resource and I recognize I am privileged to have access to it. The internet is also a great place to find support when you don’t know where else to turn. However, I am no longer going to turn to it every time I am in doubt. I will learn to trust my own instincts, and take advantage of another invaluable resource: my social circle. I will ask my friends for their advice on applying to jobs, and be there for them when they need advice from me. I will call my mother when I feel sick, rather than instantly consulting the internet. I look forward to making my own mistakes, instead of reading about everyone else’s. But what do I know? I am only 22.
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