Uplifting Hands
The truth about positive support systems
A lone wolf is often alone. It threads the treacherous path of the wild all by itself, fighting its battles and tending to its wounds single-handedly, with no pack, no help, no mate, and no anchor.
I believe battles are fought and won by many. If so, why make yours a battle for one? Why drown under the stomping feet of chariots and horses of battle-ready challenges, waiting to rip you apart, limb from limb under the weight of their stampede?
Life is a battlefield, and we need a few avengers on our side, to come out victorious.
Positive support systems are like beams holding up a building. These pillars share their collective weight on their shoulders while still under construction. It holds it up against every dreary outcome and remains firmly rooted to the ground even when the storm hits.
We are at different stages of construction; our lives are projects awaiting completion, the highest form of fulfillment there is to anyone who sets out to achieve a goal, and gets it done.
I’m willing to bet, that these achievements didn’t come about by working alone; maybe at the foundational stages, yes, but higher up, there is a whole backdrop of hands holding those dreams up, cheering on, marching alongside them, and watering it to fruition.
The beauty of this is, we never get to walk the path alone. There are people every step of the way waiting to hold you up — like every layer of brick added to a building from the ground up — supporting and encouraging when the storm hits hard.
There is a catch though; these people we choose to bare our souls to and welcome into our lives ought to be the right kind for us, the best match for our dreams, and the perfect blend to have in our lives, or they could destroy the carefully laid plans and bring it all crashing down.
Picking the right support system to surround our lives with, is based on trust in their ability to meet us halfway without judgments, believing in our dreams and goals, and unwavering in their support through thick and thin, as we try, fail, and continue trying.
When I first picked up the pen to write, I had no idea what made me think I could compete with every other guru out there. I, a solo African amid sharks in a very narrow ocean where success is for those already at the top or halfway through to the top, while I’m still at the deep end of the ocean.
I didn’t attempt, because even the idea of being called an author sounds strange. Being an Accountant has been my dream, so why am I thinking about writing books at this time?
Strange, but true. At last, I picked up the courage, to put down a few pages published in my first book Becoming 25, but I couldn’t move past that.
Dread filled my heart, I didn’t know anything about being a writer, or how that world operates, so, I shelved it, never to speak about it again.
A few months before my twenty-fifth birthday, a friend asked me, how I wanted to celebrate it; I replied, “by publishing a book about my life so far.” He said, “you should do it, besides you have what it takes to be a damn good writer.”
And that’s it. To date, he has been the best support system I have in my life, plus a few others who have come to appreciate my passion and zeal in building my craft.
Without those hands and voices screaming “you can do this girl, don’t quit,” I may have retired early, a long time ago, from self-doubt, frustration, defeat, and unbelief; but I’m still in the race of my life, and I know someday, I will reach the top.
The Rules For Building Positive Support Systems
Keep Your Circle Small —
We don’t want to hear too many voices at the same ringing around in our heads, causing a commotion rather than silently being a bedrock for us to cling to. A few handpicked persons with a genuine interest in your projects, life, and well-being work just fine.
Reciprocate The Support —
Do not be selfish in giving back as much as you have received. Show up and be there for them in times of their need. Supporting works both ways because it is in giving that we receive.
Appreciate And Recognize Efforts —
It’s the little things that matter. As much as we build these groups from loyal and trustworthy friends, who will carry us through without asking for anything in return; appreciating their chivalrous efforts goes a long way to tighten the bond.
Trust Without Judgements —
As humans, it is our inherent nature to distrust and question the motive behind everything. A great support system is built on trust without conditions, believing a hundred percent in their loyalty to be there for you through it all. It may not always be as expected, but trusting will keep the doubts at bay.
The truth about positive support systems is, they are the uplifting hands we need from time to time to be our rock as we climb the steep hills towards achieving our respective goals in life, the same as we will be to them when the times come.
The chain reaction of building the right system is seen in the collective efforts of everyone pulling each other up the ladder one at a time, linking hands to hoist up each member of the circle as far as they need to climb.
No battle is fought and won alone. Maybe at the beginning, or sometimes towards the end, but somewhere in the middle, there will always be that hand reaching out to say, “I got you.”
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