Don’t apologize

Because it’s really just part of adulting

Don’t apologize when you don’t check up on me after you promised you would.

Don’t apologize after you went a whole week without talking to me after you promised that you were going to be here for me.

Don’t apologize when you don’t let me in on your personal life.

Don’t apologize for things not being the same anymore between us.

It’s okay.

It’s part of life.

I get that you’re busy.

I get that you have more important things to do.

It’s just part of adulting.

The problem is that words of affirmation are a major love language of mine.

So when you say you love me and you care about me and you won’t leave me;

When you say you’d change and do better and you’d be there for me when I need you.

I take your word for it, I trust you and I keep having hope.

You make promises I know you can’t keep.

You keep breaking my trust.

It’s an endless cycle and I’m tired of it.

I don’t trust your word anymore anyways.

But still somewhere in my mind I have hope that maybe it would be different this time.

But it never is.

So don’t waste your promises.

I’ve gotten used to being alone.

It’s one of the things you get used to as you grow up.

It’s fine.

Really.

Let’s just continue with this little ‘friendship’ charade we have.

And pretend to live in blissful ignorance.

Deceiving ourselves that things haven’t changed.

Deceiving ourselves that we’re still friends

Even though we really aren’t anymore.