Everything I Know About Mentorship I Learned from Homer’s Odyssey
We all get advice from time to time from the people we know: colleagues, friends, relatives. (Even our children like to weigh-in on what we should or shouldn’t do).
But how do we know when to consider someone as a mentor?
Pondering this question recently led me to wonder about the origin of the word itself. Especially for an armchair linguist like myself, I couldn’t help but conduct a bit of etymological archaeology and see what I could dig up.
To do that, I took a quick trip back a few thousand years to ancient Greece, to Homer’s epic poem, Odyssey. In the opening chapter, the goddess Athena disguises herself as Mentor, an old friend of Odysseus, who has been lost since his conquest of Troy.
Mentor (Athena) approaches Odysseus’ son, Telemachus, and encourages him to embark on a journey to find out whether his father is still alive, and where he might be.
In the ensuing episodes, Mentor provides guidance, encouragement, and support to Telemachus during his journey in search of his father.
And so, from a story written nearly three millennia ago, we’ve inherited the word “mentor”, which has come to mean “a wise and trusted counselor or teacher”.
Thinking back to all the mentors I’ve had over the years, I’ve noticed they share a number of attributes. Mentors are those special individuals who care about me enough to share their wisdom and guide me along my personal and professional journey.
I contrast them with the many people who have given me all sorts of feedback and advice.
It’s a relevant distinction to make, because a mentor’s words carry more weight — and have an even more far-reaching impact on our lives — than the stream of advice (some of it useful, some not) that we’re subject to receiving each day.
Here’s how you can determine whether to regard someone as your mentor:
Mentors are problem-solving partners
Mentors are great at providing a sounding board for those knotty issues you can’t seem to figure out yourself. They can ask the questions you need to ask that will help you break down a complex issue and get to the root of a problem so you can, hopefully, solve it.
Interestingly, the root of the word “mentor” — “men” — means “to think”. A mentor, therefore, is also a thinker — a highly relevant attribute for someone that is tasked with helping you to solve difficult problems.
Mentors give you directions — but it’s up to you to find your own way
Mentors can be tremendously helpful in helping lay out possible options you can pursue, or the directions you might take in your career, or in life. But ultimately, the decisions are entirely up to you, and the responsibility for the consequences of those decisions lies in your hands.
The two career mentors I’ve known over the past decade have given me ample tools for thinking through and planning where I want to take my career both in the near-term and beyond. They’ve shared their decades of experience and wisdom, and have inspired ideas and help me set goals that I probably wouldn’t have even thought of without their help.
And yet, at the end of the day, I am the one responsible for acting on their advice — or not.
Mentors challenge you
My best mentors have been the ones who have challenged me. They’ve pushed me to question my assumptions about my abilities and potential; urged me to set my sights on higher goals; and held me accountable for reaching them.
Mentors tell you the truth
Often, the greatest gift a mentor can bestow upon you is the truth — even if it stings a little (or a lot). By telling the unvarnished truth, mentors can help you break out of self-limiting beliefs that might be hindering you from making progress toward your goals.
Mentors give you courage to take action
A few thousand miles to the east of ancient Greece, the Chinese philosopher Laozi said, “a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” Mentors are often the ones who give you the courage to take that first step — or leap — into the unknown.
Mentors let you take the credit
Mentors may give you directions, help you problem-solve an issue, challenge you, and give you courage. But wherever your journey takes you, they never try to claim credit for your successes — nor do they accept responsibility for your defeats. I think it just boils down to the fact that you need to take responsibility for your actions, and not blame — nor give credit to — anyone else at the end of the day.
(P.S.: Just two more things about mentors)
In addition to the ones mentioned above, there are two other attributes that I’ve observed of the mentors I’ve known:
You don’t always have to know your mentor very well
Some people whom I would consider mentors I’ve known only a very short time — or not at all. I consider the late author and writing teacher William Zinsser (whom I’ve written about a few times here) to be one of my most instrumental writing mentors — even though I never had the chance to meet him.
You don’t always have to agree with your mentor — nor heed their advice
While I’ve listened to much wise and well-intentioned advice, the fact that I haven’t always followed the (very reasonable and well-intentioned) advice given to me is a lesson in itself: that sometimes, you just need to pursue what you feel is right for you, regardless of what the “voices of reason” might tell you at the time.
Wherever you are in life or in your career, make it a point of seeking out a mentor or two. Perhaps — as Mentor guided Telemachus in his quest to find his father — your mentor will help you get closer to reaching your destination.
Thanks for reading! By day, I help the world’s leading management consulting firm McKinsey & Company to communicate their impact in the largest and most dynamic market in the world, China.
I’m also the producer and host of the Write With Impact podcast, where I interview talented writers about their craft. Connect with me on LinkedIn, my personal blog, or on Twitter @glennleibowitz.
Image credits:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Mosaïque_d%27Ulysse_et_les_sirènes.jpg
Telemachus departing from Nestor by Henry Howard (1769–1847)
Odysseus and Penelope by Francesco Primaticcio (1563)
Head of Odysseus from a sculptural group representing Odysseus blinding Polyphemus
