Fantasy Flashback: 1996 Week 2

Sept. 8–9, 1996

Results from here

Week Two is in the books. But before you delve into this weeks’ results, check out Week One here, if you haven’t already. And if you’re new to the game, or just need a refresher, our introduction post featuring the rules and draft results can be found right here. Now, onward to week two!

Favre for Fighting — 137.60

Secret Slime Play Action — 103.72

FANTASY RECAP:

Another week, another pair of big-time efforts from Brett Favre (263 passing yards, 3 TD, 0 INT) and Barry Sanders (125 rushing yards, 1 rush TD), as Favre for Fighting outclassed Secret Slime Play Action for the second week in a row, this time by a score of 137.60 to 103.72.

Once again, Favre is the story here, as he continued to stay hot while also miraculously remaining INT-free for the second week in a row.

John Elway (6.75 on the “Lame White QB Spectrum”) also decided to join the party this week, posting a strong line (209 passing yards, 2 TD, 0 INT, 1 rush TD), after a lackluster week one performance.

On the RB side, it was deja vu once more, as FFF enjoyed strong outings from both Barry Sanders and Terrell Davis (111 rush yards, 3 rec. 37 receiving yards). This is good news, considering all of FFF’s receivers under performed their week one output.

R.I.P. Irving Fryar :(

Unfortunately for Secret Slime Play Action, all 209 of John Elway’s passing yards were accumulated by players not named Rod Smith. Smith’s second straight no-show is troubling for SSPA, and may force Jesse into a very early roster move. Sadly, SSPA also isn’t getting very much production thus far from bench WR Isaac Bruce, who has posted just 13.20 points in two games. Which is still, per our Stats and Information team, better than zero.

“Stats & Info” Team Hard at Work

The deja vu theme continues as SSPA was again let down by both of its QBs. Dan Marino and Steve Young only netted a combined 20.12 points between them. On the plus side, reserve QB Kordell Stewart upped his total from 1.7 points in week one to 5.8 points in week two. Cris Carter (4 rec. 75 receiving yards, 1 TD) was solid once more. SSPA may also want to consider injecting Eddie George into the starting lineup. George pounded his way to a stout 20.9 point effort from the recesses of the bench.

VERY SERIOUS WEEKLY AWARDS:

The “1997 Pontiac Bonneville Performance Sedan” Week 2 Performers

When you have to park really far away from the Fashion Bug so your friends don’t see your ride.
  1. John Elway (24.56 Fantasy Points) — Though unquestionably a stellar collegiate athlete, Elway was still known far more for his fearless performance as Tevye in the Stanford University Theatre’s 1981 production of “Fiddler on the Roof”. The Stanford Daily said of Elway’s performance “I believe this play had something to do with Judaism. I thought it was going to be ‘Death of a Salesman’. It appears I was gravely mistaken”.

2. Brett Favre (22.74 Fantasy Points) — Choosing endorsements is never easy for athletes, especially when you’re a big star and everybody wants a piece of you. Such was the case for The Ol’ Gunslinger, when he found himself at the center of a bitter bidding war between Wrangler and Lee Jeans. Things quickly turned ugly and stayed that way. The battle culminated in a brutal brawl at Brett Favre’s annual Flag Day rib roast between Wrangler CEO Huck Wrangles and Lee Jeans’ Senior VP of Denim Gil “Jeans Daddy” Lee the IV.

3. Barry Sanders (21.3 Fantasy Points) — With the Lions home in a week before the Detroit River freezes, the team was on high alert that Sanders would attempt his autumnal “Escape from Detroit” routine. Their suspicions were confirmed, as General Manager Chuck Schmidt and a team of professional divers pulled Barry from the river just before kickoff, with the star RB a mere 1,200 yards from Canadian waters.

The “Blockbuster” Week 2 Busts

  1. Steve Young (6.92 Fantasy Points) — Unfortunately for Jesse, this was one of those weeks where Young forgot he was actually left handed and played the entire game throwing with his right hand. He brushed off his teammates’ attempts to correct him. Sadly, as a Mormon, Young is wholly desensitized to people correcting him about things.
  2. Rod Smith (ZERO Points, Part Deux) — Rod Smith is a real human person, we did not imagine him. Rod Smith is a real human person, we did not imagine him. Rod Smith is a real human person, we did not imagine him.
  3. Antonio Freeman (2.60 Fantasy Points) — It is believed that Freeman found himself in quarterback Brett Favre’s doghouse this week when Freeman accidentally backed his car into Favre’s tractor in the Packers team parking lot.

ROSTER MOVES (IF ANY):

Dan — In the spirit of “Motorcycle Irving Fryar” (to quote my verbatim Google search), we are going to ride on as-is. With this kind of lead, I think it best to sit back until the points stop rolling in.

Jesse — Apparently 96 Rod Smith is the 2016 Sammy Watkins. I can’t be having those zeroes for multiple weeks. Smith, OUT, Isaac Bruce IN! It’s also slowly dawning on me that Slash as a novelty pick was a costly tactical error.

IN THE NEWS 9/8/96–9/15/96:

Sep 8: Dennis Franz and Kathy Baker win big at the 48th Emmy Awards.

Franzie!

Sep 9: Legendary bluegrass musician Bill Monroe dies at the age of 84.

Sep 11: In what will likely be the most monumental piece of news we post, on this day Union Pacific Railroad purchased Southern Pacific Railroad. We’ll give you a minute to pick your jaw up off the floor……….

Sep 13: Tupac dies in the hospital one week after being shot in a drive-by shooting in Las Vegas. RIP to the living legend.

THIS WEEK IN POP CULTURE:

#1 Song: “Macarena (Bayside Boys Mix)” by Los Del Rio

#1 Movie: Bulletproof

#1 NY Times Bestseller: “Executive Orders”, by Tom Clancy

Words by Dan Poppke

SCORING APPENDIX:

Favre for Fighting — Dan Poppke

QB — Brett Favre — 261 passing yards, 3 TD, 0 INT(22.74 Points)

QB — John Elway — 209 passing yards, 2 TD, 0 INT, 22 rushing yards, rush TD (24.56 Points)

RB — Terrell Davis — 111 rush yards, 3 catches 37 receiving yards (16.30 Points)

RB — Barry Sanders — 125 rush yards, 1 TD, 3 catches, 13 receiving yards (21.30 Points)

WR — Jerry Rice — 3 rush yards, 7 catches 99 receiving yards (13.40 Points)

WR — Tim Brown — 8 catches, 96 receiving yards (13.60 Points)

WR — Antonio Freeman — 1 catch, 21 receiving yards (2.60 Points)

TE — Ben Coates — 3 catches, 31 receiving yards, (4.60 Points)

FLEX — Irving Fryar — 1 catch, 50 yards (5.50 Points)

K — Gary Anderson — 1/1 PAT (1.0 Points)

D/ST — Bills — 0 PA, 4 Sacks, 2 FF (12.0 Points)

Reserves:

Jimmy Smith (WR) — 2 catches, 10 receiving yards, 1 TD (8.0 Points)

Curtis Martin (RB) — 90 rushing yards, 4 catches, 20 receiving yards (13.0 Points)

Drew Bledsoe (QB) — 210 passing yards, 1 TD, 0 INT (12.40 Points)

Kieth Jackson (TE) — 2 catches, 27 receiving yards (3.70 Points)

Secret Slime Play Action — Jesse Hagen

QB — Steve Young — 138 passing yards 14 rushing yards (6.92 Points)

QB — Dan Marino — 178 passing yards, 2 TD, 0 INT (15.20 Points)

RB — Thurman Thomas — 22 rushing yards, 1 TD, 1 catch, 6 yards (9.30 Points)

RB — Emmitt Smith — 82 rushing yards, 3 catches, 12 yards, 1 TD (16.90 Points)

WR — Cris Carter — 4 catches, 75 receiving yards, 1 TD (15.50 Points)

WR — Keyshawn Johnson — 5 catches, 53 receiving yards, 1 TD (13.80 Points)

WR — Rod Smith — ZERO (The Sequel)

TE — Shannon Sharpe — 3 catches, 40 receiving yards (5.50 Points)

FLEX — Marshall Faulk — 25 rush yards, 1 TD, 2 catches, 11 yards (10.60 Points)

K — Adam Vinatieri — 1/1 PAT, 1/4 FG (40–49 yds) (5.0 Points)

D/ST — Buccaneers — 21 PA, 3 Sacks, 1 FF (5.0 Points)

Reserves:

Isaac Bruce (WR) — 4 catches, 52 yards (7.20 Points)

Eddie George (RB) — 143 rush yards, rush TD, 1 catch, 9 yards (20.90 Points)

Welsley Walls (TE) — 2 catches, 34 receiving yards (4.40 Points)

Kordell Stewart (QB) — 26 rush yards, 2 catchs, 22 receiving yards (5.80 Points)

Pop culture recap found here.