5 Ways to Instantly Upgrade Your Ghost or Horror Story
The problem is the delivery, not the plot.
With the autumn crisp and Halloween around the corner, it’s high time to prepare your spooky story to be published for prompt competitions or told over the campfire (or a meeting for friends still in lockdown). Food is often the focus of festivals where I come from; there are few cultural or family traditions that we actually do. But as an admirer of Japanese culture, where people are paganistic and believe in supernatural entities, I frequently listen to magical tales.
The tips I share here come from my experience listening to over 200 episodes of Kaidan (ghost stories) phone-in radio programmes, podcasts, and variety shows, supplemented by personal tips from various talents specialising in horror, such as Edamame Tsumami and Inagawa Jyunji.
Make Sure Your Story is Not Absurd
The first thing to remember is that you are telling a horror story, not a fantasy. While paranormality is expected in the story, and you should let your creative juices run free, things should be believable. No human being can defy laws of physics — no human would levitate, momentum doesn’t just dissipate. Similarly, the story shouldn’t defy natural science — plants don’t talk, sharks don’t grow legs, and gorillas don’t learn to shave. For instance, compare the short texts below:
Version A
A pack of gorillas marched down the corridor to my room, each with a Nazi cap and an AK-47 rifle. I shuddered, and woke up in cold sweat. I glanced over — my brother’s gorilla plushie, which had long been packed away, was sitting at the end of my bed.
Version B
A troop of soldiers marched down the corridor to my room, each with a Nazi cap with an AK-47 rifle. I shuddered, and woke up in cold sweat. I glanced over — my brother’s collection of warships, tanks and military aeroplanes, which had long been encased in perspex boxes, were sitting at the end of my bed.
Even I laughed when I wrote about the pack of gorillas. While the scene is scary, the immediate imagery that comes to mind when you envision a pack of gorillas marching is nothing but hilarious.
As a writer, you paint an image in your audience’s head. Even if the message you want to get across may be grim and critical, the audience won’t listen seriously if the first thing they see is Captain Underpants.
While creativity is welcomed, horror stories should still be set in the mundane world we are all familiar with.
Give a Concrete Setting
The next easiest method to improve your story is to give concrete dates, times, and places. Shimada Shūhei, a Japanese YouTuber known for fortunetelling and hosting Kaidan programmes, mentioned that a solid setting for your story would make it more authentic. Compare versions A and B below:
Version A
I forgot when and why this happened, but I saw an elderly woman in the shades of the willow tree. She sniggered at me with her toothless mouth and stared at me with the sockets that would have housed her eyeballs.
Version B
Last night, after getting off the bus from the dinner date, I was walking home alone when I saw an elderly woman in the shades of the willow tree at the park. She sniggered at me with her toothless mouth and stared at me with the sockets that would have housed her eyeballs.
Which one is better? The later version is more tangible, and your audience could conjure up images of the scenes you describe easily. Another plus is that you assure them that the story is personal to you, which draws people’s attention more than a generic legend. We all know that most ghost stories are probably made up. But if you give the effort to start with something akin to “so this happened two years ago on a school trip to the National Park”, the imagery of the story would be much improved.
Even if you made up the story, trick your audience into believing it is true.
Add a companion in the first-hand story you tell
Following up on how most of us know that horror stories are often fictional, the next tip would be to add a companion to the story you are telling. While experiencing supernatural events alone would definitely be more frightening, this effect would be lost when retold. Instead, adding another character into the story allows a multitude of possibilities, such as interaction between you and your companion(s). Compare these texts:
Version A
When we were in primary school, my sister Ema and I once went on an adventure in the ruins of this monastery on the hill behind the village chief’s house. The moment I stepped on a tile of what would have been the central hall, glass crashed onto the floor, and a woman shrieked. I dashed out, and she followed after me sluggishly.
“Come quick, what are you doing so slowly?” I said.
“What’s the matter?” She said, “Are you scared of this little adventure? I told you I’m braver than you.”
“You heard nothing? That’s good for you then, that’s good…” I muttered.
Version B
When I was in primary school, I once went on an adventure in the ruins of this monastery on the hill behind the village chief’s house. The moment I stepped on a tile of what would have been the central hall, I heard glass crashing onto the floor, and a woman shriek. I dashed out immediately.
The first text sounds more authentic and tangible, especially with the natural dialogue between Ema and the protagonist. The juxtaposition between them also contrasts the experience between the knowing and unknowing, while Ema’s scepticism and teases about your encounter would induce sympathy. Alternatively, you could have the protagonist reconfirm with Ema what she heard and fight with you in getting out.
Having two fearful people involved would make the tale seem closer to reality — what are the odds for two people dreaming or hallucinating the same image?
Make it Clear that it is a Ghost Story from the Beginning
Many authors (myself included) like to use multiple paragraphs to set the scene. If you are long-winded (like me), make sure you link to the theme of horror from the very beginning and throughout the story. Instead of telling your story in chronological order, you might even consider beginning with the climax, or at least the results of it. Look at these two introductions to a horror story:
Version A:
The vertical scar at the centre of my forehead defined me. Since reading the Harry Potter series, I always pondered the slim chance of being remotely related to the wizarding world. Only when I entered adulthood at eighteen did my mother tell me the true story behind it — and it was closer to the wizarding world than I might have liked.
Version B:
My brother and his friends, Jack and Tyrell, were playing in the park, and I was tagging along. It was just another day after kindergarten, another early spring afternoon with pollen in the air and the blooming greens. Moss was slowly invaded The Rock’s face, a mysteriously smooth stone situated in front of the tree stump, facing the muddy bank of the lake. From the lustrous grass…
I intended both versions to be the same story, where Tyrell became possessed by a rock spirit, picked up a branch, and smacked my brother and I on our foreheads, yet I lost interest in writing the story for this short post. With what I had in mind, it would’ve been at least five or six paragraphs before I could reach the climax.
Nonetheless, the first text is the clear winner. It has a quicker pace and tells the reader upfront that this is a story about supernatural entities. It piques their interests enough that they buckle their seat belts for a ride, like what every well-written novel does on the first page. Of course, the only concern here is you ought to deliver as good a story as you promised. For the examples above, don’t reveal that the scar came from smashing your head into a corner at home. In the best-case scenario, they would leave midway; in the worst, you would receive a round of boos.
Draw your audience in. They came for horror, so give them horror.
Lower Your Tone and Volume when Approaching the Climax
The last tip only applies to those telling their story verbally. Shimada Shūhei recommends content creators and guests of phone-in radio programmes to try lowering one’s tone and volume when telling horror stories, especially when you’re approaching the climax.
Indeed, it is more difficult to hear you if you speak softer. However, considering that you have already drawn your audience into the story, they won’t give up the story midway — just like a mystery book or a thriller movie, they need to finish it in one sitting. If you speak softer, people will start to lean in and be more attentive to the story. This is equivalent to dogs raising their ears when they feel threatened or alert, which naturally makes them pay more attention to their senses. This heightened awareness of their surroundings helps induce a sense of fear, giving you a great advantage when narrating ghost stories. This is particularly important if the beginning is long, which make people lose interest.
Speaking softer makes everyone huddle around you, which builds an atmosphere for optimal response to your tale.
Parting Words
Like every other genre, there are certain techniques unique to horror, and you ought to play by these unwritten rules if you wish to receive your desired response. These rules may be difficult to grasp, especially for writers who only participate for festive reasons. Hopefully, this article has helped you through that.
Nevertheless, all writers should still follow the normal process of writing a good story: before submitting your article to a publication, please, read through it several times and edit it thoroughly. Think of several potential titles, analyse them in detail, and choose the one that piques the most interest and appeals to people’s curiosity. Lastly, best of luck to all those trying to submit their ghost story to a prompt challenge!
Have the tips above helped you? Have they made you double-check your Halloween story before submitting it to a publication? If they have, please don’t hesitate to share this with fellow writers who are about to hit the “Submit” button, or your friends who would go camping with you in due course!
