5 Ways Your Barista Can Tell You Have No Empathy
And how it affects their behavior
Oh, the barista. The bearded dude who always wore a beanie and plaid button-ups and barely utters a simple “hello” when you walk through the door. Maybe he even rolls his eyes when you ask for a half-caf almond cappuccino. Who is this guy? And why does he do this job if it apparently makes him so miserable?
I was a barista for about a year and a half before I started managing a cafe for the following 4 years. During that time, I met many people who remembered my name and many who asked where my hot coworker was (i.e. my boyfriend). It was these small indicators that gave me a glimpse into the tendencies of how different people handle such a basic everyday function: ordering coffee.
A lot of these people can be grouped together by habits. There is a special group of people who no matter how nice they are to their barista or server, still participate in these habits that make them completely unempathetic.
1. Not Tipping
This one I think is the most obvious and common but it hit different during 2020. I started out as a non-smiling cashier who really just wanted every customer in and out as quickly as possible. It had nothing to do with a dislike for the task at hand. It was all about getting people in and out as quickly as possible. I started to notice though that whenever my coworker took the register, our tips were consistently higher and there was no difference in how long the job was taking. The only difference I noticed was that he was smiling all day long.
I took this with me and started smiling and when I was managing my own location, I was Mary Freaking Poppins. I wanted to break the stereotype of the rude barista and I made sure my coworkers played ball. Sometimes though, no matter how accommodating we were, no matter how many inane questions we had to answer, no matter how perfectly executed the order, some customers still pressed the “No Tip” button. The worst was when they were thanking us and smiling as they proceeded to purposefully deny us $0.25.
Baristas usually make minimum wage or slightly more and servers generally make less than minimum wage. Tips are what give service workers the ability to do slightly more than just get by. When we are denied that extra 15% from customers, we’re denied a contribution to buying a friend a birthday gift. Tipping is such a basic courtesy nowadays that including it on this list means that too many people still haven’t gotten the memo or they just don't value others on the most basic level.
2. Not Responding To Greetings
Sometimes a menu can be so overwhelming that as soon as you walk into a cafe, your eyes just gravitate towards it and you become entranced with all the options. You become confused with these new alternative milk options and want to know what the difference is between a flat white and a cappuccino. Your brows furrow and you decide you have to have answers before you can make a decision. You look directly in front of you and there’s an annoyed employee waiting for you to order. How have you already bothered this person before you’ve even said a word to them?
This answer is simple, they’ve noticed that you’ve come through the door and said “Hi, how’s it going?”
Crickets.
They’ve noticed the worried look on your face as you look at the menu and say “Do we have any questions?”
You’re hypnotized and still haven’t said a word.
They notice your eyes shift and remind you to let them know if you need anything.
Still nothing.
At this point, your barista has tried to communicate with you 3 times and you’ve completely ignored them. They’ve participated in normal social rituals like greeting you when you walk through the door but you’ve somehow managed to ignore the fact that there’s another human in the room until you need something from them.
3. Leaving a Bad Review
I worked in one of those cafes where we make hearts in your coffee. Some of my coworkers fashioned swans out of velvety steamed milk or poked facial features into foamy blobs to make an amusing caricature. Some of my coworkers got overwhelmed with the volume and the drinks piling up that they just poured milk into the cup. It’s still a latte, right?
Unfortunately, for one angry customer, this completely altered their drink experience and they left without a word shaking their head. A few hours later, I received a text from the owner asking who was pulling shots and who was pouring milk. I name names and receive a screenshot of a one-star review from a customer claiming that their milk was just dumped into the cup as if they were at Starbucks. My coworker was fired for not making the effort to pour a heart into every single drink as per company policy.
While this particular coworker had a string of offenses leading up to their firing, this milk incident was the final straw. If you can tell the entire world how upset you are about the way your milk was poured, why can’t you tell the one person who can rectify the situation?
Some customers have no idea what an impact their Yelp rant will have on the livelihood of others. The only reason someone should write a negative Yelp review is if they’ve clearly communicated an issue with the staff and nothing was done about it. Otherwise, you’re just venting and you want someone’s head on a platter.
4. Asking Why Prices are High
Some customers think that service workers are the ones who set menu prices, which is such a baffling concept. It’s understandable that a customer might be confused as to why their $3 drink from one place is $5 somewhere else, but do they actually care to know why? There are answers to these questions but every time I’ve offered explanations, these particular customers are not satisfied.
The fact that the coffee is sourced responsibly from farms that offer reasonable pay and health insurance to workers, which results in a higher price tag for us to purchase the coffee makes no difference to them. The syrup added to their drink is made in house with quality ingredients by the person taking the order shouldn’t result in paying a premium.
This problem always also results in #1 on this list. The customer now has to know if the $5 is actually worth the money so they buy it but can’t spare another dime to tip the person making it. That would just be overkill.
5. Hitting on Your Barista/Server
I would rather be ignored, not tipped, be mentioned in a bad review, and be asked why the coffee is so expensive all at once than be hit on by a customer. Service workers have to be nice. When our consistent friendly demeanor is mistaken for romantic interest and results in a request for our phone number, we’re put in a position where we have to reject this customer because (a)it’s unprofessional or (b)we’re not interested. One of two things can happen, the customer can continue to come in, which is at best slightly awkward. The other possibility is that the once regular customer becomes a no show to avoid the awkwardness.
Of course, there’s always the possibility that the rejection is handled maturely and things continue normally. Still, it has never stopped making me extremely uncomfortable when it does happen. I’ve been completely mundane on purpose just to avoid this scenario.
You might be rolling your eyes at the thought of a barista finding you unempathetic. Baristas, I think, have a reputation for being snobby, entitled, and rude. I’ll be honest, I’ve had coworkers who fit that description perfectly. They’ve told customers to their face that their order is stupid. However, if you had to live every day dealing with the aforementioned behaviors over, and over again, wouldn’t you have bad days too?
Most baristas aren’t trying to make a career out of this job. A lot of them are starving artists or students. It’s not like they can quit and get another job if they don’t like it. Serving earns you decent money that could help you afford an inconveniently located space in a 3 bedroom apartment with 4 other people and one bathroom while they wait for their big break.
If more customers consistently avoided these behaviors, I guarantee there would be a shift in the general demeanor of baristas. Of course, there will always be some barista primadonnas who are all about the art of coffee and have no interest in your day. I think I’d rather have my coffee made by this person though.
