8 Lessons I Learned From My Toddler
1 — Don’t Hold Grudges
Parents spend thousands of hours trying to teach our children.
Rightly so — parents have figured out the hard way how the world works and want to pass this knowledge on to our children.
On the other hand, we parents can learn a lot from our children. But only if we pause and look. With a healthy dash of humility. In the last few years, I learned many a lesson from my first son during his toddler days.
And I continue to keep learning from him — unexpected lessons that constantly surprise me.
Here are 8 profound lessons I learned from him.
1 — Don’t Hold Grudges
My kid and I have our share of kerfuffles.
He forgets them almost immediately. I, on the other hand, hold grudges from several years ago. Admittedly to my detriment. But for reasons that do not have a rational reason, I cling tightly on to the useless grudges — I refuse to let them go.
I will do myself a colossal favor if I get rid of all grudges once and for all.
2 — Put the Cell Phone Away
Parents of teenagers struggle to separate kids from their cell phones.
My toddler routinely tells me to put my cell phone away.
Indeed — when I wield the cell phone in his presence, I’m doing him multiple disservices — I don’t give him my full attention — and I’m subconsciously giving him the message that it is okay to fiddle mindlessly with your cell phone.
No, this is a lesson I need to implement immediately — my toddler giving me this lesson is just icing on the cake — put the cell phone away.
3 — The Power of Enough
When my kid gets what he wants, he tells us he has had enough. One chocolate is enough. The books and toys that he has is enough. Two helpings of his favorite food is enough. The list goes on.
Enough.
A word that has been deleted from most human beings’s dictionaries.
A powerful word that can give us the greatest gift — inner peace.
4 — Nobody Likes to be Told What to Do
No surprises here — every parent knows the struggle of getting their kids to listen to them.
We want our kids to listen to us for various reasons:
- To make life easy for us
- To inculcate discipline in them
- To teach them
They don’t care.
They don’t want us to tell them what to do.
They make that clear in unequivocal ways.
But we, as parents, have a responsibility to continue to tell them what to do. Or so we think, anyway.
Remembering this lesson will help me catch myself before I enter my know-it-all mode and dish out unsolicited advice to my friends or family.
5 — He Knows What He Wants
A newborn baby knows what he or she wants. — R. Rajkumar
We, the parents, know best for our kids — right?
Wrong.
At least according to my kid. He knows what he wants — and that is that.
Now, what he wants may not be what is best for him. And what he wants may not be what he needs.
What he wants is what he wants. That is that.
As with the previous lesson, when I know what is “right” for my wife or Mom or Dad, it is time to take a long and mindful pause and sensibly choose the alternative of silence.
6 — Contentment in Life’s Simple Offerings
He does not want the fancy stuff.
Well, most of the time.
A simple ice-cream delights him. Or a small chocolate bar. Or a visit to the temple.
Forget all of this — a warm moment with his mother.
I *need* many “things” to be happy. I need other people to be reasonable, for example — even armed with the knowledge that fairness is an illusory concept.
I can learn from my kid and be happy with the life’s simple offerings.
And make no mistake, there are millions of simple offerings life bestows me on a daily basis.
7 — The Power of the Word ‘Sorry’
When he and I had a disagreement, I told him I was not happy with his behavior.
A few minutes later, when I regained my sanity and remembered that he is but a toddler, I apologized to him for speaking cross words. To my shock, he reciprocated in kind and told me that he is sorry for his behavior!
Here’s the kicker — this same exact interaction replayed a few months later — me getting cross — me apologising — he apologizing for his original action.
In our interactions with fellow adults, we are reluctant to say sorry for may reasons:
- Our ego comes in the way.
- We feel we are right.
- We feel we will cede power/leverage if we apologize.
- We just don’t feel like it.
What if we embraced the vulnerability and said sorry? This single word may be enough to prevent a relationship from rupturing.
I am happy to have learned this important lesson from my interaction with my son.
8 — Creativity is Limitless
Most adults I know don’t think of themselves as creative.
I certainly did not for many years.
When I observe my toddler, he comes up with something new all the time.
I must have been the same when I was his age, I reflected. Somewhere along the lines, I convinced myself I’m not creative.
Well, all I need to do now is convince myself that I’m creative — limitlessly creative.
Easy peasy.
