A Guide to Living for Social Losers
How some people are loved and others not
People who have a history of being ostracized tend to be hyperalert to social cues. However, they are also more likely to misinterpret them. As a result, I grew obsessive analyzing social nuance, such as what makes some people’s suffering “classier” than others, albeit the gravity of it is less severe.
For example, I’ve seen many instances in which someone suffering from common loneliness garner more sympathy than someone traumatized from a dysfunctional family.
There are psychological factors involved in making someone extend their sympathy that does not include the severity of the suffering itself. These factors range from whether the victim is physically attractive to how the victim expresses their anguish. There is an artful way of showing grief.
I’m personally not comfortable having to try hard to get people to be fond of us. I prefer to passively socialize, such as writing to people instead of talking and having relationships naturally arise in work environments.
In Radclyffe Hall’s The Well of Loneliness, Stephen Gordon — the main protagonist — struggles a lot trying to get people to like her. Her struggle is caused by people judging her from the onset.
