A Letter To My Students
My dearest students,
My kids. My kiddos. I am writing you this letter, not to give some proclamation as to what I see wrong in this world. Nor am I writing it to teach lessons I have learned in my short, but full 31 years of life. I am writing this because I care about each and every one of you. I am writing this from the supposition that we live in uncertain and topsy-turvy times. I am writing this to tell you that these uncertain times are also no graver, no more damning than any other time in history, however the inevitable future is still unwritten and in your hands. When I was younger, one of my biggest pet-peeves was when adults told me I didn’t understand. That I would know when I was older. They said, “once you experience it, you will get it.” I took this comment as an insult to my intelligence. My natural hubris was injured by this even if I knew much of it was true. And I warn you to not follow my lead. I warn you that it is okay to learn from your elders. Many of these lessons. Many of these pleas to you are not original. They have been said by many others more intelligent and well lived than I. But maybe, if they are told one more time, that will make all the difference.
My first lesson is to remember that this is one beautiful world. No matter how much pain, frustration and uncertainty you may feel or have been born into, please remember there is much more beauty and good here than you may know at this moment in your life. This is a world you only get to visit once. Don’t waste it. Burn up your days and make sure you remember this long opus we call life, is a song that you must write for you.
Growing up is optional. But maturing is necessary. As you grow old, which will happen no matter how hard you try and stop it. Remember to mature. To learn from events and always make sure each day you are making a better version of yourself. But also remember to keep your heart young. To look at the world the way a child does, with wonder, with enthusiasm for every moment you have, even the sad and frustrating moments, for there is beauty in the pain of this world as well.
Know your history. Do not run from it. Know where your family came from. Let it create your identity. Let it help shape and mold the person you grow to be. Let it help you empathize with others, for empathy is a tough lesson but a necessary one.
Be passionate about something, anything and don’t be afraid to tell the world what it is that you love. This will not be easy. It will be uncomfortable but remember. Passion comes from the Latin root pati. It means to suffer. Passion is an endurance sport of sorts. Burn with it. Let it push you. Let it help mold you into the person you wish to be.
You must remember humility. Never put yourself above anyone else, no matter how cool you believe yourself to be.
You have two ears and one mouth. Use them in that order. Listen. Observe. Pay attention to the world around you. Pay attention to the people, the smells, the feel of everything you touch. Be an observer in this world.
Be proud of who you are. If you are not proud of the person you have become, then change it. You must love who you are first. This is one of the hardest lessons of life, but so important.
Be a lighthouse not a flashlight. A lighthouse stands steadfast on ground. They shoot their glow out across the pearled night ocean for all to see. To give hope. To give direction. They affect many. They help others change their course and direct them to safe harbors. A flashlight only illuminates your path. It only helps you navigate toward your destination. But you will only get there alone. We humans are communal by nature and happiness is only real when shared. The biggest threat to our humanity is selfishness. Humans have long battled against our inherent narcissism. Keep the fight alive and remove your egocentrism. Be charitable. Help others. No matter how bad of a hand you think you have been dealt. I promise. Someone has it worse. This is not for you to pity them or to even pity yourself. But to care. To empathize. Understand you are a small piece of humanity, but your light can reach many others and that is special.
Embrace the romance of the world. Pay attention to the small details and subtleties of life. That is where you find what makes this world beautiful and worth living.
It’s okay to laugh at the world. Humor is a great leveler of thoughts. Humor puts into perspective the absurdity of our world. I have never considered myself particularly funny, but I have always found it important to never take myself so seriously.
Stop your whoa is me attitude. The world does not owe you anything. The cards you’re dealt are the ones you are dealt. You can’t make the dealer take them back. Life is a beautiful little bitch to deal with and feeling bad about your crappy circumstances doesn’t solve the circumstances. I will say this does come from a white American male bias and privilege, but also there is some truth in it for all races, ethnicities and genders. Look around you. This is your reality. This is what you have. If you don’t like it, change it. In life you need to learn to work with what you have. Life will never get better by envying the ease and convenience of other people’s lives. Embrace and be thankful for what you have and work for what you want. Don’t be envious of what others have been given.
Do not make the drama, dramatic.
It’s okay, to not be okay.
Question. Be critical. Ask. Don’t be okay in not knowing. This world will try and trick you ten times over. You need to question everything you are told, be critical of facts, because the world will take advantage of the meek and naïve.
Try. Fail. Try. And fail. Somewhere along the lines, parents stopped wanting to hurt their kids’ feelings and they gave out trophies for showing up. Toss those participation trophies in the garbage. Failure is a part of life and no one should hide that from you. Failure is okay. What is not okay is being okay with failure. Never be complacent with just okay. Be great. My Papa used to tell me, “Whatever you do, be the best.” However, what he meant to say was, “Whatever you do, be your best.” There will always be someone smarter. Someone more athletic. Someone better looking. And that’s okay. And as I tell you so often, no one is going to pick up that pen for you. There will be many to help guide you along the way but that’s all they will do. Eventually you must try and do it on your own. You have to pick up your own pen and do your own work.
Nothing comes from nothing.
Please build something great. Build a great life. Build something that will last. If you are true to yourself and you are true to this world, no ocean can wash away what it is that you have created.
I know as you read this you will have agreed with many of my sentiments and disagreed with many others. And that is okay. You may not understand some, and others may have seemed as true as the clouds are white. And that is okay. Many of these lessons, much of the hope, as well as warnings may be tough for you to grasp at the moment. But please, I beg of you do not read this and not feel changed. Tomorrow you may wake up feeling energized and motivated by this letter. And maybe for the next month or year you take to heart all that I have expressed in this letter and try and use it as you navigate this uncertain, too big, yet beautifully imperfect world. But don’t let that be it. Don’t let these words just be like the heat from a fire, only to be lost in the cool night air as you turn your head from its enchanting glow. Hold onto them. I promise they were written with love and humility. You will come to many of these lessons on your own as all must do. And that’s okay. But always know, things will be okay because you are here, and you are alive, and you can think and breathe and feel and move. It is hard to understand how precious and beautiful life is when young. Time almost feels infinite when your eyes are wide and experiences abundant. But don’t let go of that feeling. Enjoy this world. Let it make you and let it destroy you. Enjoy the pain and the pleasure. Learn. Absorb. Suck the marrow from this once chance.
I promise you will be okay. I promise because you are loved.
“The day the child realizes that all adults are imperfect, he becomes an adolescent; the day he forgives them, he becomes an adult; the day he forgives himself, he becomes wise.” — Alden Nolan.
Your Teacher
Greg
