A Shallow and Insincere Thank You to My 305 Followers
Apparently, you have to do this now
I wanted to do this a few days ago when I was at 296 but I didn’t have time, so you’ll have to forgive the aesthetically pleasing number.
I know, I know, I should have done it when I hit 100, like everybody else. Whoever came up with the new criteria for the partner programme has a lot to answer for.
Why is this trend so endlessly annoying? Partly because familiarity breeds contempt, but mostly because it’s just dumb.
Here’s the thing: I trust none of you are following me out of a misguided sense of charity. And I assume none of your followers treat reading your work as their daily good deed either.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m very happy people read my work, and even more so that they deem it interesting enough to follow! But our relationship, dear readers, is transactional. No one has a gun to your head (Do they? Type “custard” in the comments if you need help). You’re here because you get something out of it, whether that’s entertainment or a crushing sense of regret. No kink-shaming from me.
I loathe people thanking me for “taking the time to comment” for the same reason. It’s so disingenuous. I’m all up for a bit of banter in the comments, but don’t feel the need to reply to me unless you have something to say. I commented because I wanted to. I don’t need a pat on the back.
So, I’m sorry it never occurred to me to thank you before now. It’s just that the whole idea makes me cringe so hard I nearly slid right out of my own skin. But I’ve been remiss. So, from the very top of my heart: ta.
