Amor Fati: How to Apply in Daily Life
First, accept the difficulty and then transform it
“Do not seek for things to happen the way you want them to; rather, wish that what happens happen the way it happens: then you will be happy.”
― Epictetus
- Have you had a heartbreak?
- Have you failed in your creative pursuits?
- Do you lament for not living your dream life?
If yes, then maybe adopting Amor Fati attitude can give solace to your heart instead of crying.
What is it?
It is the Latin term that means love of fate.
It describes an attitude of acceptance, the life situation when something goes wrong.
Friedrich Nietzsche used this expression in his work.
In “Why I Am So Clever” (Ecce Homo, section 10), he writes:
My formula for greatness in a human being is amor fati: that one wants nothing to be different, not forward, not backward, not in all eternity. Not merely bear what is necessary, still less conceal it — all idealism is mendacity in the face of what is necessary — but love it.
Amor Fati in daily life
“The task of a philosopher: we should bring our will into harmony with whatever happens, so that nothing happens against our will, and nothing that we wish for fails to happen.’ -Epictetus. A long ‘to-do’ list seems intimidating and burdensome…but a ‘get-to-do’ list sounds like a privilege…Today, don’t try to impose your will on the world; instead, see yourself as fortunate to receive and respond to the will in the world.”
― Ryan Holiday, The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living
Below are a few ways to use Amor Fati in daily life.
Accept the things that happen to us
I begin with my example.
I love to write online. I aspire to create something noble with this online writing — like online coaching. But this dream looks quite distant and far-fetched because of the following reasons.
- I don’t get time to write daily
- I have not learned the different techniques of writing to make it easy for readers
- I don’t write regularly on my newsletter/twitter.
I accept the challenges I face. But I don’t blame my fate — instead, I embrace it.
“We have to learn how to practice the art of acquiescence.” — Epictetus
Gelong Thubten has also mentioned similar things in his book — Handbook for Hard Times.
He says to accept the challenges and negative feelings. The more we push away them, the more it becomes painful. When we embrace them, we become one with them.
Wabi-Sabi — the Japanese concept — teaches us to find beauty in life’s imperfections.
Action Item:
When you face any difficulty in life, pause for a moment and accept it.
When you feel life is unfair to you, smile and be in love with your fate.
Acceptance brings compassion, and when you live with gentleness and kindness, it becomes easy to navigate through rough waters.
Use the difficult situation to transform your life
When I stayed with my parents, I dreamt of living alone.
Now, I have been living alone for the last two years.
Living alone was not easy. I faced a few challenges.
- It was hard to wake up in the empty room.
- I could not eat alone.
- I felt sad to return to an empty room from work.
- I could feel the loneliness.
Before my life, I never realized that living alone was challenging.
However, I learned to use this lonely situation to keep myself busy with work that I love to do.
I have transformed the above challenges in the following ways, and it worked.
- After waking up, I spend some time in the early morning sun. It has a magical effect on my mood and emotions.
- While eating, I watch learning podcasts like Daily Stoics, Dr. Joe Dispenza, Mel Robbins, and Gelong Thubten. Now, I don’t feel lonely while eating.
- I have started writing regularly and found my love for writing. I don’t realize how time flies.
- I have started a few hobbies that I love to do — cooking, painting, journaling.
I have used the challenge of loneliness and transformed the time to do the things that I love to do.
Action Item:
If you face any challenge, use it to improve yourself.
For example, if you are tight on cash, figure out ways to spend the bare minimum and enjoy a minimalist life.
If you run out of ideas in online writing, write about the daily problems and how you solve them.
The challenges in life are the universe’s way of telling us to improve ourselves.
“What you throw in front of a fire is fuel for the fire.” — Marcus Aurelius
Final Takeaway
When you feel sad in a difficult life situation, accept it. Acceptance does not mean becoming passive to the situation but being willing to work with what has happened and not fight against it.
After you accept it, try to find ways to use the difficulty to transform your life and become a better version of yourself.
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