Building Attraction In Your Relationship
You don’t have to change your looks to increase your appeal.
“That’s always seemed so ridiculous to me, that people want to be around someone because they’re pretty. It’s like picking your breakfeast cereals based on color instead of taste.”
― John Green, Paper Towns
People often assume that you can only be attractive if you were either born with good looks or spend hours in the gym. While these may give you a good boost to your physical attractiveness, these will not inherently improve your ability to keep someone.
True attractiveness is the measure of your ability to build and maintain a relationship.
Physical attraction fades with time, but with true attraction, you could build something that will last.
Your Behavior and Those Around You
If you want someone to stay with you, then you have to be pleasant to be around. The irony here is that you must be yourself in order to maintain a relationship of any kind, and your true personality may not be for everyone.
Not all of us have a plethora of natural charm or charisma. However, all of us have someone who is naturally charmed by our charisma.
It is true that some people have a higher level of emotional intelligence than do others. Some are able to weave a conversation in their favor and have the ability to make others perceive them in a particular fashion.
Do not stress if this does not come naturally to you.
Remain Honest — With Yourself and Your Partner
People will easily see through the façade of a fabricated personality.
In a long term relationship, your partner will get to know sides of you that you hide from the public. Be yourself. Show yourself. Be honest with your partner, and in turn, they will be honest with you.
Infidelity is the result of many shortcomings in a relationship. It can come from insecurity, as well as ill-intentions. If your partner will cheat, then they will cheat. There’s nothing you can do to stop them.
Don’t allow yourself to become obsessed with the thought of preventing infidelity.
This results in controlling behavior.
Infidelity is often the result of a cyclical relationship built on dependency and control. One partner needs the other to remain happy, and therefore lacks the confidence required to trust their partner. This in turn makes them controlling.
Their partner wishes to regain the sense of freedom they once had when they were single, and lashes out through emotional or physical cheating. This results in more insecurity, and so on and so forth.
Develop Yourself
In this case, I am talking about personal development outside of the professional world.
Have a hobby or something you like to do.
It could be videogames, hiking, playing cards, whatever.
Never feel insecure about what makes you happy.
If you are with the right person, then your happiness — no matter the source — will make them happy as well.
I personally love videogames. I know that there is a stigma behind them that makes them “nerdy” or “weird”. Many people believe that being nerdy or weird makes you unattractive.
This is nothing more than a psychological fallacy.
If you are nerdy or weird, then so is someone else. These large companies don’t make videogames just for you to enjoy. Find someone else who enjoys whatever weird hobbies you have, and you will find happiness, and in turn, attraction.
Spontaneity
I’m sure you’ve read this countless times in other articles, but it’s true. Being spontaneous can really give your relationship the extra boost it needs.
Whether you are a man or woman in your relationship, bring home flowers. Nothing expensive, nothing fancy. Just flowers. Watch your partner’s reaction. They will never be upset (and if they are, LEAVE).
The reason why this action is universally loved is because it shows that your partner has crossed your mind without them having to be in your immediate vicinity.
Everyone has their own insecurities.
By showing your partner that you see value in them, you are showing off value in yourself.
Maintaining attraction in a relationship does not require you to be inauthentic or to increase your own physical attractiveness. All it requires is to show that you care.
