Control Your Actions And Don’t Drift Behind Your Anger
When someone says or describes you in negative terms, don’t be like a sucking sponge, but let the attack flow like water in a bowl.
Have you ever heard of Stephen Covey's 90/10 theory? Let's go through it quickly. According to this theory, 10% of your life's events are out of your control, while 90% of your life's events depend on your reactions!
What does that mean? It means that 10% of our actions are out of our control. For example, we cannot prevent a car breakdown, plane delay, traffic accident, death, and other events.
In the other direction, the remaining 90% are actions and events that happen with our will and choice, such as performing prayer for example, or being patient with a certain issue, or donating part of your money, and other events.
Let's get into another example:
You are having breakfast with your family, and your daughter accidentally moves the cup of coffee, and it falls on your shirt. Of course, you had no will to prevent what happened, the cup falling was unintentional, and your daughter had nothing to do with it. This is from the 10%.
The consequences of this action:
Reprimand your daughter for dropping a cup of coffee on your shirt, then the little girl bursts into tears, then you turn to your wife and criticize her for placing the cup near the edge of the table, followed by a heated argument between you, then you rush up the stairs to change your clothes, and then you come down with a very nervous mood, you find that your daughter was late for the school bus because she was crying, and she was late for breakfast too, then you have to take it to school, then you drive your car over the speed limit, you will incur a fine for speeding your car, then you arrive at your daughter’s school late, then she gets out of the car without hearing the words “Bye bye” from her.
And then you get to work late, and that seems to be a miserable start to the day. The events unfolded in the same way, and then you return home to find that your daughter is not approaching you, and no member of your family would dare to eat lunch with you; Why? Because you didn’t react well to what happened in the morning!
Why was your day so miserable?
- Is the reason a cup of coffee?
- Is the reason your daughter’s unintended fault?
- Is the reason the traffic officer?
- Are you the reason?
The answer, of course, is the latter; Yes, you are the reason, in fact, you did not have the will to prevent the cup of coffee from falling, but the reason lies in your reaction in the five seconds that followed.
Let’s all see the action that was possible and desirable to happen:
Your clothes are wet with coffee, your daughter is about to cry, and you politely say, “It’s okay, my dear daughter, and I hope you’ll be more careful next time, my pretty little girl.” Then she grabs a towel, rushes upstairs, and after changing clothes and carrying the work bag, she goes down and looks up. From the window to watch your daughter get on the school bus and turn around and wave goodbye to you, and you get to work on time or late but not as late as for the first time, did you notice the difference? It is very large? Why? The reason is in how you react to the event.
You really can’t control 10% of the events, but the remaining 90% depends on your reactions.
Life Advice.
When someone says negative or provocative statements to you, don’t be like a sucking sponge, but let the attack flow like water in the bowl, and don’t let negative comments affect you or your actions; Interact with her tactfully and don’t let her ruin your beautiful day, because the wrong reaction may result in you losing a friend or a job, or feeling emotionally stressed.
Always be beautiful, you see the world beautiful.
