Cut Qualifiers From Your Prose
Quickly, Suddenly, Really!
I’ll cut to the chase: Too much of anything can get annoying and lose its flavour.
That “anything” includes words. You, as an author, have the responsibility to use and arrange them as wisely as a turtle will.
Reusing the billion-year-old clichés like giving a cold shoulder and terms like quickly can diminish your prose.
You won’t make a good impression. Your books won’t sell. And your dreams? Shattered.
Simple as that.
Don’t sweat, darlings. I am your saviour.
Here are replacements for common words I dug the internet and books for.
Suddenly/All of a sudden
You want your readers to get a nasty jolt — to make them rise from their seats, yell out at the element of surprise, and continue flipping at a bullet-train pace.
Now, imagine this scenario:
In the quick tempo, where the speed makes the heart skip beats, you add extra words.
All the build-up dissolves. Your hard work seeps down the drains.
An example:
She flipped on the TV and reclined in her chair. All of sudden, the TV flashed a bright light and the power went out.
Better:
She flipped on the TV and reclined in her chair. The TV flashed once before the lights went dark. The power was out.
Felt that sense of immediacy when stuff happened?
You want the reader to get a jolt. You want the element of surprise to be present.
Let it happen.
Reword and restructure. Shorten the sentences to create the latency of terror. Make the scene stronger.
Turned
Sam turned around. Reena turned up. Gigi turned the paper in.
Such. An. Overused. Word.
Turned is required on occasions, yet not as often as we tend to pen it. Give the term rest.
An example:
They turned toward her as they spoke.
Better:
They gave her their full attention as they spoke.
OR They looked into her eyes.
OR (Nothing. Readers don’t have to be updated on every little movement.)
You are on a noble duty to make your prose sound powerful and engaging.
There are an estimated 171,146 words currently in use in the English language. Don’t make it turn away in shame.
While
While has several meanings:
- During the time that, or at the same time as.
- Even though.
- Compared with the fact that.
- A length of time.
It is hard to use this less, but never impossible.
Look how boring and cliché the sentence reads in this example:
“Get it together,” he said while flipping them off.
Better:
“Get it together,” he said, flipping them off.
Much faster, cleaner, and smoother.
There
Several cliché starts require there’s presence.
“Once upon a time, there lived…”
“There once resided…”
“In the magical caves, there was a…”
Make the value of each word count. Cut it out.
An example:
There was a crazy Dutch girl who wrote our sales copy.
Better:
A crazy Dutch girl wrote our sales copy.
Tastier, right?
Himself/herself/myself/yourself
Reflexive nouns have a specific purpose, though they can still be avoided.
Readers are not dumb. You aren’t their parent to spoon-feed them every detail.
The rule: Use them only when it’s confusing otherwise.
Some examples:
>He looked at himself in the mirror.
Better:
He looked in the mirror.
> She gave them to Andrew and myself before leaving.
Better:
She gave them to Andrew and me before leaving.
>I haven’t eaten lunch myself.
Better:
I haven’t eaten either.
Using pronouns like these can be a waste of words. Letting readers draw the conclusion is exciting.
Even
I have even included this word! This expression is used for emphasis.
Too much emphasis is no emphasis at all; it all turns normal.
An example:
Underwater, he couldn’t even breathe.
(Duh.)
Better:
He couldn’t breathe.
Using this word where it’s not required makes the sentence sound silly and absurd.
Just/Really
You just don’t want to use ’em. Their use really can’t be justified.
The conclusion
Good prose is subjective. Bad prose is not. Be a firm editor. Merciless and wise. Add underrated words and backspace the boring ones.
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