Everyone Is Just Doing The Best They Can
Choose compassion over judgement.
Life is hard. Like… REALLY hard.
It’s full of hardship, loss, emotions, and it’s ever-changing and unpredictable. Everyone has their own experiences. Their own trauma. Their own way of healing.
Personally, I’ve got a long list of reasons to grieve as I’m in my 30th year:
In January, my Mom will be gone 5 years. My Dad passed one year ago. We almost lost my little sister, and now she’s in psychiatric care. Breakups. Friendship losses. Moves. Career changes.
And then there’s that dreaded chronic depression and anxiety that peaks in when it’s most inconvenient. (Did I mention I’m only 30?)
While these experiences are somewhat common and even inevitable… I’m learning that there is still a large percentage of the population that cannot relate to this extent of loss and life experience — especially this early on in life.
Everyone has a different story, and some people are more resilient than others.
We all hold different values. For example, I value connection and relationships because I’ve lost so many people. (And therefore, sometimes I hold on too tight or for too long.) Some people value experiences. Some people value money and their career over these things. Some people have no values at all.
In my 30th year, I have grown to have more compassion for myself, as well as others. I have a small but amazing circle of caring, empathetic, and very loving friends and family. I have a therapist who is helping me uncover my truths and heal my wounds. And I know that my views, feelings, and beliefs, and experiences may differ from those around me… and I enjoy learning from that.
Some days I want to hide away and not talk to anyone at all. I don’t want to explain myself. I don’t want to pretend to be okay. I don’t want to have to defend my position or my choices. I just want to be. And I honestly don’t want to subject people to my BS all the time.
Because only you know what is best for yourself. And while you’re going to make mistakes along the way — that is your journey and yours alone.
So today, I challenge you to put yourself in someone else’s shoes before you judge, argue, or dismiss. I challenge you to be a friend even when it’s difficult, and also to forgive people for not being able to live up to your expectations — when they are just trying to find their way. I challenge you to have boundaries to protect both you and also the people you care about. I challenge you to try to find empathy in a situation that you can’t necessarily relate to, or the compassion to listen and understand when someone chooses a path you don’t necessarily agree with.
It’s the only way to learn and grow as humans, by giving the same love you wish to receive.
Love isn’t all you need… but it sure makes the ride a lot smoother.
