Facing and Coping in a Crisis
“Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid” (John 14:27).
During difficult times, part of being emotionally resilient is checking in with yourself; your inner soul. Ask yourself, what hurts, what is bothering me? How can I make it better?
As you identify the challenge in your life and the emotions you are feeling, it is then that you can choose which coping strategies to help you stay healthy. Through your experiences and bettering yourself, you can also help others in their time of distress.
To learn more, read the guide:
“How Can I Minister to Others During a Crisis?”
The definition of crisis is a time of intense difficulty, trouble, or danger:
“The current economic crisis.”
An intense time could be anything from a loss of work-because the bills keep coming in, the family needs to eat, and some little luxuries disappear all at one time, to the death of a family member or friend. It is in these situations that your coping skills are the most important and sometimes the most difficult to hold onto…but like the iron rod in Lehi’s dream, it is something to grab onto and fight to deal with the stressful occurrence as you face the onslaught that comes in the wake.
~The reference of Lehi and the iron rod is from the Book of Mormon, a Second Testament of Jesus Christ. It is in the book of 2Alma-a remarkable good story. I invite you to read it.
The concern you may feel during these times of hardship may seem overwhelming. Instead of running away, looking the other way, or giving up, take a deep breath and straddle those tragedies like a bucking bronco at a rodeo. The ride only lasts for a short time, and during these times of whirlwind rides, you find a lesson to take with you. Economic depressions and health issues in yourself and your family will more than likely be the hardest of times, but hold on, cowboy or cowgirl up; this li’l ol’ crisis is only the beginning.
Good news, in the Book of Mormon, Second Testament of Jesus Christ, I find comfort in these passages. Doctrine and Covenants 121: 7–9, 7
My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment;
8 And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes.
9 Thy friends do stand by thee, and they shall hail thee again with warm hearts and friendly hands.
If you don’t understand the above verses, may I give you my impressions? Verse seven (7) it humbly means that this time of hardship, although difficult, is for a short period of time; be glad that it will go away. Noting lasts forever-it may seem like it, but it too shall pass.
Verse eight (8), If you call on God, do not freak out and do something illegal, immoral, or drastic to cause you to separate from your family or God, he will bless you with great abundance. (Think of Job in the Old Testament).
Verse nine (9), It is your true-blue or real friends who will take you in with a warm heart and friendly smile, and it is they will minister to your basic needs, holding your hand, and praying while you endure your trial or tribulation. They will also give you the warm handshakes, the high five, or whatever the new trend of greeting is between you and your best and, or honored friends and family.
Having bouts of uncontrolled sobs or laughter are natural responses. So is the want-to of giving up, but don’t; life is an adventure, and the next thrill is around the corner. Saying this; how you maneuver through these times that will give you the strength to take care of the person or people in your life and yourself as you face the distressing situation together. Once the people are tended-o to, then you can deal with the complications. Keep in mind always that you deal with problems and take care of others.
Here are some examples that come from the above mentioned guide that can help you identify the difficulty and help you take action in a crisis.
■ Step 1: Identify and Accept
How do you respond to difficulties? The following list includes ways people commonly react to challenges out of our control. Recognize that taking action in different ways is natural- a part of being human. (See, I told you.) You may struggle, and that’s okay. The struggle will make you more resilient and bring you closer to God or Jesus Christ. You may also respond with resilience by using strengths and resources. When I stop crying and when the tantrums subside, I laugh at it and focus on the positive; what will I gain from this particular mess? How can I fix it and make it endurable?
Check all that apply to you. No, I will not define each one for you-no matter how tempting. I will leave it to you to list what or how you deal with the oncoming traffic of life.
Emotional
Why do I want to cry all the time, fight with others, drink?
~ Denial
~ Depression, grief
~ Anxiety, fear
~ Anger, agitation
~ Guilt
Physical
How am I feeling?
~Fatigue
~Headache
~ Sleep disturbance
~Change in appetite
~Muscle tension
~ Shallow breathing
Mental
What am I thinking? Will, it hurt me or my family in the long run?
~ Impaired judgment
~ Forgetfulness
~ Distractibility
~ Distorted sense of time, reality
~ Nightmares
~ Flashbacks
Social
I don’t want to talk with anyone. Just leave me alone. to
~ Loneliness, withdrawal
~ Clinginess
~ Marital or relationship tension
~ Parent/child conflict
~ Protectiveness
Spiritual
God, Jesus Christ I need you, where are you?
~ Increased reliance on God
~ Feeling abandoned by God
~ Feelings of worthlessness
~Finding it hard to engage in religious practices such as meditation, prayer, church attendance, etc.
~ Decreased desire to live a good life
~ Loss of hope
Resilience Responses
Bring it on. I’m not alone!
~ Alertness/increased readiness to respond
~ Increased focus on the present and future
~ Enhanced appreciation of loved ones
~ Feelings of determination, courage, optimism, creativity, faith
~Desire to connect with and help others
~Desire to meet challenges and address difficulties
~Finding a new definition of a “good day”
~Greater focus on quality time with family and friends
~Increased commitment to self, family, friends, and faith
■ Step 2: Focus our Thoughts
In our lives, we will experience strenuous events or circumstances beyond our control. However, how we respond and adapt builds our character, good or bad.
These stressful circumstances are within our control. Pay attention to your thoughts and consider how you can lead them in a healthy direction.
Do not fight another person, damage property, or hurt yourself-it will hurt. Do not place blame; it will only confuse the issue. Deal with the problem, ask why later.
■ Step 3: Act and React
Identify coping strategies that work for you. Practice using these strategies in everyday life.
Check the strategies below that you currently use or would like to try.
Emotional
~ Journal your thoughts, feelings, and experiences- I do this activity for the most part. Writing and recording your thoughts and emotions will be of great help to identify triggers in the future.
~ Listen to inspiring music-
I listen to stress-free music during work. My favorite is the aquarium video with the music in the background. So peaceful to watch these fish and other sea creatures swim.
In the evening, I will sometimes listen to those old country gospels. The memories of my grandparents come to mind, and I feel strengthened.
~ Talk about your feelings
I love to look at my picture of Jesus Christ and vent my heart out. I feel so clean afterward. If you choose this as one of your coping skills, pay attention to the thoughts that come during and after your spiritual venting; he is speaking to you, ministering in love to your broken heart and spirit.
~Deep breathing, meditation, positive thinking
~Allow yourself to cry. Yes, men, you are capable of shedding a tear or two. It is alright; no one will think the less of you for this moment to grieve. Sobbing is a cathartic tool for relieving anger, that emotion of guilt or not giving more when you had a chance, this is in like of a sledgehammer to the built-up emotional wall around your heart. Besides, it is better than fighting, drinking, or sulking. It clears out your mind and gives you a moment to grieve your loss-whether it is the passing of a loved one or the life security as you know it. Take a few moments, go onto a rooftop somewhere and let your anger, frustration, and other stresses out. This action doesn’t mean you are weak; it means you are a human man who has had too much at one time. Humble yourself, admit you need help, and pray. Remember, your trials/tribulations are short-it will pass.
~ Find things that make you laugh
I am going to suggest the Dry Bar Comedy Club out of Provo, Utah. You will love the clean comics, and the jokes are so hilarious. People can talk without using the ‘f’ word.
~Spend time with pets
Physical
Do some yoga, stretch, and strengthen exercises. These movements that promote stretching the muscles can be a good cardio warm-up until I get to the point of moderate cardio-exercises.
~Drink water and eat healthy food
~Get enough sleep
~Physical activity
~Take necessary medications
~ Follow a set routine
~Reward yourself
~Hug/hold and show appropriate affection with family and friends
~ Get regular medical care
Mental
~Read or listen to uplifting books
~Help children with schoolwork
~Write stories or poems
~Write a priorities and values list
~Set short- and long-term goals
~Seek accurate information from trustworthy sources
~Take a break from the news
Social
~Spend time with family and friends
~ Play games with others
~Connect with people in your life
~ Invite others to dinner
~Find ways to help and serve others
~Take a break from social media
~Join community organizations
Spiritual
~Ponder and meditate
~ Allow yourself to be open to inspiration from the Holy Spirit.
The Holy Spirit is there to give direct motivation, instruction, and guidance. This is directly from Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ… sit back and listen to the feedback.
~ Focus on what is most important to you.
If the family is important to you as it is to me, we do things in focus of the family, but do we take care of ourselves? Something tells me no. So, my two best friends come and get me out of the house for a few hours a week. We go shopping or eat breakfast or lunch. It is so much fun.
Take a nice soaking bath. I, personally, recommend some salts that will ease your nerves-not necessarily make you smell pretty. That will come with lotions and sprays.
Laugh out loud; do not worry about that sour-faced person next to you. They can bite a bitter biscuit. Laughter is a powerful coping skill that can loosen stressed nerves, and it is better than screaming. I am a big believer that laughter is the best medicine. Plus, God wants us to laugh.
~ Identify what is meaningful and notice its place in your life
~ Pray, sing
Psalms 30:4 Sing unto the Lord, O ye saints of his, and give thanks at the remembrance of his holiness.
Sing with your kids and dance with them. It is so much more fun than you think.
~Read inspirational literature (talks, music, scripture, etc.)
~Counsel with trusted church leaders.
■ Step 4: Discuss and Share
For some people facing a crisis this may be difficult, but not allowing others to help in your time of need is cheating them out of service. Allow someone in to help.
~Take a moment and share your coping skills, your problems, and your strategies to overcome the next challenge in the future.
~Your family, friends, or support system are great allies in your crisis.
~Share some of your responses and coping strategies with them and others who need a helping hand, not a handout.
~Discuss how you can support each other. Write these suggestions down or type them up-or both.
~Review and practice your coping strategies whenever you feel challenged or stressed.
Any time you face that challenges you emotionally, physically, mentally, socially, or test your resilience is from the adversary (Satan). God will allow you to endure these challenges to bring you and me closer to him. He is not the source of your pain, but he salves to it. Keep this fact of God and Jesus Christ in mind while you are going through hell.
May God bless you always, and may you choose to walk with Jesus Christ every day.
