How to Have a Wedding On a Budget
I may be poor but I can still have the best day ever
1. Get engaged
Aaaaahhhhh! I cried and could hardly squeak out a “yes.” It was magical and beautiful and surrounded by family.
2. Don’t plan anything for nearly three years while you “save up money”
In reality, you just graduated from university and both you and your new fiancé are in incredible debt. Neither of you are working a full time job yet, and one of you comes down with Hepatitis A somehow and winds up in the hospital for three days. It’ll only bring you closer.
3. Finally decide to start planning a wedding
It’s been two and half years, it’s about damn time (according to your mother).
4. Determine a budget
We are zillennials, and will be 25 and 26 years old when we get married this winter. We do not have a lot of cash. We decided a long time ago that we were going to pay for everything ourselves, since your parents let you live in their house for two years without paying rent.
5. Decide on a guest list
It’ll be a small wedding, no more than 80 people tops. Parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, and cousins on both sides. A couple of friends, but that’s it.
6. Decide what wedding website platform you want to use, to make sure your under $1000 wedding is still Pinterest-y
Do we make our wedding site on The Knot? Zola? Both??? Yeah, both. Maybe one’s better than the other and how will I know that unless I use both?!
7. Revise your guest list
Looking at the long list of family and friends all printed out on a website seems… overwhelming. Maybe we should cut it back to just family?
8. Find a few venue options
When you live in the suburbs, there are waaaay too many options to choose from. Do you go for a farm rural wedding? Do you venture into the nearby city? Do you go out of state? All of it’s too expensive anyway.
9. Go out to dinner a bunch to figure out what kind of food everyone else should get to eat on your special day
Casual dining is definitely our vibe, but should we go for something more fancy for the most important day of our lives?
10. Revise your guest list again
Okay okay, just immediate family then? Plus grandparents. That’s it though, last time.
11. Look on Etsy for cool wedding rings
Whoa they make wooden wedding rings?
12. Realize you’re less than six months away from your hopeful wedding date and you haven’t decided on anything
Fuck, I still don’t have a dress? Or flowers? Or an officiant? Or invitations? What the fuck are we doing???
13. Decide to elope
You Google how to get a marriage license in your town, and turns out it costs $80 and you can get married at city hall in ten minutes. Marriage is basically just a piece of paper anyway, right?
14. Cry because you’ve always dreamed of your wedding day
How can you get married without your entire family there to witness it???
15. Realize all that matters is you’re marrying him
Okay, okay. We can handle this. It’ll be fine. You can still get all gussied up for the courthouse.
16. Dad insists that you have a party because marriage is too important to have it be “any other day”
It’s obviously important to him, so we’ll figure something out.
17. Return to step 3
Continue following the steps until you give up and elope anyway.
