How to Talk to a Representative Every Time
Can I just talk to a real person??
I miss the days of calling businesses and hearing a real person stutter over their awkward store greeting. I’m getting increasingly bitter every time I hear the pre-recorded Walgreens dude and his overly spunky tone. Can I just talk to
👏 A
👏 Real
👏 Human
👏 Being
for once in a while. I have some good news though, my friends. I’ve compiled all of the ways I quickly get to talking with a living creature so you can skip the BS too.
1. When the pre-recorded something asks you want you want, say “Representative” from the get-go
“How can we help you today?” → Representative
“What is your name?” → Representative
“Would you like to take a survey?” → B!tch, Representative
Unless your questions are fairly basic and common (“What are the store hours?”), there’s a high chance the system won’t understand you. Natural language processing isn’t nearly as swanky as it’s portrayed in the media and your local pharmacy is definitely not on the cutting edge of this tech. To skip over repeating your question over and over again, just say “Representative” and you’ll shortly be connected to a real-life person. You may need to say the magic word more than once but the system will get the idea soon enough.
2. If you’re calling a Government Office, find the Automated Phone Information System key online
This also works for big corporations or clunky phone systems. The 🔑 key for the automated phone system is just a printed out list of whatever the hell the dial-in options are. What’s so special about a phone menu listed out? You can CHEAT and skip ahead to exactly what department you’re looking for AND figure out what buttons to press to talk to a real person. I recently had to wrestle with the Employment Development Department of California’s phone system and found a key for their phone system online.
I wanted to talk to a rep about a pretty specific issue but my issue didn’t fall under any of these categories. HOWEVER, I searched for the term “Representative” and saw that I needed to press 2, then 4 to be connected to a representative. I was able to skip over all the filler and save myself time just by doin a quick google search beforehand.
3. If the wait queue is full, DO NOT STOP TRYING
This happens most often with poorly configured government phone systems, but if you’ve hit all the right buttons and you’re told the maximum number of callers on hold has been hit, do NOT stop there. As long as you’re calling within business hours, you still have a chance of talking to a rep. All you gotta do is be annoying as sh!t and try, try again. After a couple of minutes of repeatedly calling, a spot should open up in the queue and you’ll slide right in like a G.
🤞 Hope these tips helped & may the phone odds be ever in your favor ☎️
