I’m 60 and Caught Between Two Mindsets
It’s tricky and not similar to the cat on the wall syndrome, it makes me think though.
My mother (M) is 91 and my daughter (D) is 32.
M says I am a spendthrift, while D says I could spend some more.
M always asks for the price of any item I buy, be it a pencil or a television, D says never look at price tags, and the right side of the menu.
M insists I tell her where exactly I go when I step out, but D does not ask questions.
M does not understand the meaning of freedom, whereas D knows its importance.
I don’t think any of them is wrong, it is just that I am stuck between two approaches.
So how do I deal with this?
I just do what I think is right. This is a mindset I have developed over time.
Let me give you an example. Having M with me for instance is a day-to-day struggle. Letting her go to a senior home is so difficult in my mind and I don’t think I would ever do it, despite the annoyance and practical difficulties I have to face. But I am often advised to do this. What my friends say feels so good! Imagine the freedom I would have when M is not around! But why am I not doing it?
This is what I mean when I say my 60-year mindset is trapped. But over time I have learned to live the tough life — I can feel my readers’ disapproval.
I don’t know how else to be.
I think many of us have certain beliefs we are unable to break away from. I think this has nothing to do with the different generations but of attitudes. There’s a lot to appreciate about the millennials; they are a bunch of happy people who make life look simple. Yes, they think of themselves so much but what’s wrong with that? And at the same time, they do watch out for the planet and climate change.
So, I have nothing against them, but I think I need to move on and look at the world through the lens of the young, which I somehow think is a happier word out there.
What can I do differently?
I would like to be more outgoing and appreciate the outdoors,
I’d like to take responsibility for my happiness and manage better, my woes.
I want to convince myself that life can be beautiful even at 60 plus,
And I don’t have to feel guilty for others’ scores.
A little fun and frolic will not tow my life away,
I’ve done all I can and would like to feel the freedom air.
Responsibilities will not let me go if I hang on to them,
They will burden me down and leave only a sense of scare,
Karma will eventually do what it will, coupled with destiny, do they stem.
So, it’s now or never, and it’s time to dare.
