Imprisoned Past
Short fiction — The Compensation of Revenge
I sat on my prison bed thinking. At 38 years old I wasn’t happy, far from it but I had accomplished everything I had set out to do.
I thought back to my childhood. I would be happy if I could ‘delete’ memories I thought. All of my memories were sad. I had been an only child. Dad had left when I was ten years old. My mother was emotionally cold. I couldn’t remember her ever being nice to me. No cuddles or fun times. She had never encouraged me to do well at school and she hadn’t praised me when I did.
I was bullied at school for being fat and spotty. I was under confident and too self conscious to make friends, and I had accepted my fate of eternal ugliness and revulsion.
My mother had repeatedly told me that my only hope in life was to make the best of myself. “Always have your hair done properly” she would say. “Find yourself a man that is useful, no point in a useless man. You have to make the best of what you have if you ever want a man to look twice you”. She often repeated this and would point her finger at my face and emphasize the ‘You’.
I had married Greg when I was twenty three years old. He was the first man to take an interest in me. I had been the accountant in a car dealership where he worked as a technician. I had wasted no time at all in getting pregnant. I couldn’t wait to escape my overbearing hateful mother. Greg had been shocked at first, but eventually came around to the idea.
We married quickly five months into the pregnancy. Greg was bowled over by our daughter. She became the core of his life. He named her Grace after his late mother.
Greg had been a good husband and father. He was a kind, patient and generous man. But when our daughter was ten years old he had left. He’d said he couldn’t handle my ‘temper and destructive nature’. But it didn’t matter, I didn’t need him anymore.
I had followed my mother’s advice and chosen a man that was useful. Greg had provided a beautiful home in a nice area. I had always maintained my appearance. My hair had been professionally styled each week and my clothes were designer. I had followed mum’s advice and ‘made the best of what I had’.
My size was still larger than I would like, but none of the diets worked. I had earned enough money to maintain my lifestyle and Greg had continued to pay our mortgage. I had become a part of normal society. I had felt accepted and ‘normal’. I had been a wife, a mother and I had lived in a lovely house. I had a respectable status.
Grace had turned into a stroppy spoilt girl. She had blamed me for her father leaving. She’d said I had bullied him.
She had the ability to reduce me to tears so easily with her harsh words. I pictured her in my mind’s eye; Grace — my naturally beautiful girl, with the perfect figure, beautiful hair and likable personality. Everyone loved her.
But nobody loved me, not even her. I sighed aloud. I remembered her laughing at me when I had told her I was in trouble with the law. She had said ‘It couldn’t have happened to anyone more deserving’.
I reminded myself that today I wasn’t going to cry. I switched my thoughts back to the day I had been sentenced. The judge had said that I had destroyed the lives of two good, honest hardworking people. “Mrs Winter”, he’d said, “you have stolen and spent the money in which you were entrusted to manage. These were your employers and your friends.” This memory made me angry. I could feel the tears welling up again. The injustice of it I thought angrily.
How did they become victims?! They had destroyed my life. They had bullied me at a pivotal point in my life. I had no friends because I had no confidence. I had no confidence because of them. They had ruined my life from the age of thirteen.
Those two will never know that I will become victorious of their nasty destructive traits. But I will know.
The judge had said “you show no remorse and yet you have gained nothing. You say you spent the money on designer clothes and having your hair styled”. He had shaken his head in disbelief.
I’m smiling now as I remember the concentration it had taken not to smile when the judge had said this. He had shaken his head in disbelief. The judge didn’t know about the past.
Karen and Ben had been my main tormentors’ throughout school. They had married soon after leaving school. The judge didn’t know that I had taken the job as the accountant, working for the company that Karen and Ben had owned, with the intention of making them pay me compensation from all those years ago. I had bided my time and taken the first opportunity.
“I am sentencing you to two years in prison”. The sound of the gavel hitting the bar had echoed around the room and I had slumped into the seat behind me and waited to be led away.
I switched my thoughts away from the anger welling up inside. Calm down I hissed out loud. Think about the plan. I switched my thoughts before the anger could take hold and reviewed my plan.
It was a good plan. It made me feel safe and happy. I would be free in a week’s time. I had signed over the house to Grace and her father long before the court case. I was penniless for the entire world to see…
I had three hundred and ten thousand pounds stashed with my belongings at the rented storage unit. I was the sole beneficiary of my mother’s will. Next week I would return to live with her. She wouldn’t live for much longer… once I was free.
