How to build a spiritual connection with your partner
A relationship may have a greater chance of survival and fulfilment when a couple is connected through their spiritual practice
Having a partner and creating a relationship isn’t an easy thing to accomplish and requires work on both sides. A relationship may have a greater chance of survival and fulfilment when a couple is connected through their spiritual practice. When a couple is united through spiritual practice, they can increase intimacy and connection because there is a mutual focus on supporting one another on their path. You are not changing yourself to be a better match to develop a spiritual connection. Instead, it’s about being true to who you are and coming together with your partner to deepen your emotional bond. This requires being open-minded, honest, and vulnerable with yourself, and your partner. By creating a spiritual practice with your partner, you will build and strength your connection and help influence how the relationship functions. Here are a few ideas to help you get started.
What is a spiritual connection?
A problem in our current society is we tend to view our happiness, success, and sense of personal worth based on what people think of you and the external things you achieve or acquire. Your sense of identity becomes overshadowed by your external experience. According to Deepak Chopra this is object referral instead of self-referral. As he writes on his site,
“Our sense of “I” is then defined by our body, our relationships, our possessions, our fears and desires. This unawakened version of the ego does generate distractions and obstacles to spiritual growth just by virtue of this self-perpetuating object referral pattern. The ego in itself is not the villain. Once self-realization occurs, the ego’s misappropriation of identity dissolves and its simple function of providing individuality to experience will remain even after enlightenment.”
Having the mindset of object referral draws your attention away from having a fulfilling relationship. It is the precursor for getting into a relationship for the wrong reason or forgetting how to nurture them. Ultimately, this leads to you feeling disconnected and out of harmony.
Having a spiritual connection with a partner means you are allies in personal growth. You commit to working together to become your best selves, to helping and loving each other, as well as those around you. Spiritually connected partners are encouraging and help each other to find their purpose in life. You align on issues that define who you are and the future you want to have. Partners with a spiritual connection focus on protecting their partner and ensuring their safety and success. A spiritual connection is based on honesty and integrity and you, and your partner are fully genuine. When you are spiritually connected, your partner helps you express yourself while giving you a sense of stability in your life.
Foundations for a spiritual connection
To increase intimacy and connection with your partner through spiritual practice you first need to create a spiritual connection. When there is a strong spiritual foundation, you can weather any storm that comes your way and keep growing in your spiritual practice. Here are five ways to help you create a foundation for a spiritual connection.
Manifestation
What is your dream relationship and what do you want in a partner? Sit down and journal a list of the qualities you most want in a partner. Once you have your list, sit down, and see if you embody the qualities and desires you wrote. Often, we seek people to fill voids missing in ourselves and this does not create a strong, stable relationship for a spiritual connection. Relationships are always a great example of the beauty of perception. You will see all your own qualities, both good and bad, reflected back to you in your partner. Before entering a spiritual relationship, work on being complete in yourself, and you will see completion in your partner.
Self-Reflection
We all have baggage and shadows that we don’t want to see. Having a spiritual practice with your partner requires that you grow into the person you were meant to be. You must know your beliefs, intentions, and desires. Make a list of values important to you and the practices that keep you connected. For a practice to help identify your self reflection, think of your exes. What comes to mind? The feelings and events that come up color how you experience your current relationships. Learn to forgive. Part of healing past relationships is embracing change. Your relationship will transform as you each evolve. Use this change for growth and an opportunity to support and love each other through this process.
Quality Time
Quality time is one of the five love languages created by Gary Chapman, Ph.D. Quality time refers to showing love and affection by spending quality, dedicated time together. This is done by spending uninterrupted time as a couple to deepen your connection with undivided attention on each other. It’s choosing to prioritize intentional, meaningful time together so you can connect deeper on an emotional level. By prioritizing quality time with your partner, you can have meaningful conversations about your spiritual practice. Share with him or her your own viewpoints and then ask them where they stand in their beliefs and practice. Find out what is important to him or her and the needs they have for a spiritual practice. See if the two of you are on the same path or willing to work together to get onto the same path together. You don’t have to be the same in your thoughts, and beliefs but make sure there is enough similarity. Find out what is important to him or her and understand why. You don’t have to be the same in your thoughts, beliefs, and practices. There will always be a difference, because every human is unique, but there should be enough similarity that you’re on the same page. Once you have this, you and your partner will be on the same path together.
Set the Intention of the relationship
When I was ending a serious relationship, and experiencing loss and heartbreak, I had a therapist explain to me that a relationship is not two individuals but instead a third entity. So often, we focus on each other and what the other needs to do for the relationship. By viewing your relationship as a third entity, it becomes a vessel of creation. By having quality time and declaring a primary intention for your relationship will both keep you checked in to your purpose and values for being together. Intentions can be to truly understand each other so you can evolve and grow together. Or an intention can be how can this relationship brings more happiness, joy, and connection in your life. Lastly, an intention could be that the relationship is for spiritual evolution. At the end of the day, the element that takes an ordinary relationship to a spiritual connection is that you both have clearly defined the intent of the relationship. By having an intent, you will increase intimacy and connection with your partner through spiritual practice.
Create a Daily Spiritual Practice
Once you have established you’re on the same page as your partner and identified what’s important to you about having a spiritual connection in your relationship you are ready to create a daily spiritual practice. These are daily things that will deepen your spiritual connection. A great example of this is through the practice of meditation. There are numerous mental and physical health benefits of meditation. Meditation can be done together or separately. In meditation, by learning to get still and present you are declaring to yourself and each other that this is an important aspect of your relationship. When you are entering into a different state of consciousness together it becomes a very sacred and special practice. Through the simple act of meditation, you are taking a little time out of your day to be still with one another.
Prioritize Time for Regular Intimacy
In a spiritual partnership, touch and intimacy are essential ingredients. You can bridge the gap between the physical and spiritual realms when you establish and maintain intimacy in your relationship. A great example of this is having a daily “6 second kiss” with your partner. It was created by Dr. Gottman, a leading relationship researcher and the author of What Makes Love Last? How to Build Trust and Avoid Betrayal. As he explains it, a 6 second kiss is, “long enough to feel romantic.” Dr. Gottman writes,
“ It serves as a “temporary oasis within a busy day and creates a deliberate break between the on-the-job mentality (i.e., going to or from work) and a couple’s one-on-one time together.”
The act of being physically intimate heightens your awareness and intention and has the power to lead to spiritual experiences and awakenings. When you feel good in your physical body, you will be able to emotionally connect on a deeper level in your intimate partnership.
One of the most rewarding and fun things you can do is to build a spiritual connection with your partner. Once you have a strong spiritual foundation, the spiritual practice will come easy. With dedicated focus you are increasing intimacy and connection with your partner through spiritual practice over time.
