Living Happily Ever After: What’s the Possibility?
The state of constant happiness is the end of a children’s story, according to experts.
The lives of newlyweds are amazing, right? They left behind a long planning and celebration process. It is surely something to celebrate though. They found “The One” in each other and got married, like an ending to a fairy tale story indeed. Yet, the story continues. Marriage brings a new dynamic that everyone quickly adapts to. And once the honeymoon period ends, you are not over the moon anymore. Since it has become your new routine, you have gotten used to it.
It doesn’t necessarily have to be about marriage; it could also be the beginning of a relationship. At first, there are lots of giggles, excitement, and happiness. It is becoming less appreciated in the long run, and you no longer feel the way you did before.
Or consider the last thing you thought that would make you very happy if you had it? What was it, an expensive car or a brand-new phone, maybe a promotion? It definitely made you happy. But your happiness didn’t last as long as you imagined, did it? So, you moved on to a totally different thing that you thought would make you happy.
We have a tendency to think that something new will provide us happiness. For a short time, it gives burst of joy too. After that, we come back our relatively normal state of happiness. Most of us experience this type of cycle. In psychology, this process is known as hedonic adaptation or hedonic treadmill.
According to the dictionary, hedonic refers to the idea of seeking pleasure and avoiding pain. Adaptation to pleasures can be called hedonic adaptation. In other words, hedonic adaptation is about an increase in feelings after experiencing a positive event(s) and returning to a stable line. This stable line can change from one person to another.
In addition, hedonic adaptation includes falling from happiness and negative events. Negative feelings in life will not keep one person unhappy forever. At some point, that person will stop feeling sad and come back to the baseline.
As an example, people who win the lottery mostly return to their personal set point of happiness. According to the results of a study, there is no difference in happiness between the lottery and non-lottery winners. Of course, the lottery winners felt happiness at first, but eventually, they got used to it and turned back to the original baseline.
The continual wave of hedonic adaptation proves that happiness is not fixed and not a goal, but an accompanying emotion on the life journey. Knowing this term is essential to enjoy the little pleasures in life while they last. It also makes us realize that all the suffering and sad moods are not everlasting.
To sum up, motivation of humans is to experience good things in life and continue to do so. After becoming familiar, it doesn’t give the same emotion as in the beginning. Therefore, individual searches for another one. During these shifts, a person’s wellbeing returns a stable baseline despite life’s ups and downs. When good times arrive, we should pay attention to details. When bad times arrive, we should remind ourselves that it will pass because it is just a pit stop for other things waiting for us. After all,
Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise again. -Victor Hugo
