My Daughter Came Out At Ten
And now, for her, I will be grand marshal of the gay parade
She had her little friend come over and they asked me to enter her room. She took me into the corner and she was shaking. After a moment she said, “Would you hate me if I liked girls?”
Of course I was shocked. At 10, the only thing I liked was dogs and books. Of course, I also hadn’t started my period yet so I didn’t have the hormones flowing through me that she does. I responded, there is nothing on the planet that would ever make me hate you. And loving someone is never bad. And then proceeded to name all the people that I’m friends with that were gay. And then I moved onto athletes. Then I moved on to people I just speculated might be. Just kidding, I didn’t do that last one.
I reassured her that no matter what she decided to do regarding her love life, her family will always support her. Beyond that, I really didn’t know what to do.
Tears fell down her cheeks with relief at my response. And she did it did it again and again with her brothers’ support and her sister’s support. One by one, she made the decision to call every family member and everyone was supportive.
So I called upon my best friends mother who had been like a mother to me my whole life. She actually has been my best friend to me on several occasions and there’s no one I can say that I respect more than her. I remember introducing her to my own husband while we were dating anxiously awaiting her feedback. She is gay and I knew she would be glad to offer any insight that I could not. And I’ve never been ashamed to outsource if I’m at a loss. I was right. Even though she lives two hours away, she was in town the next day to handle any questions I couldn’t answer.
She spoke with her and also encouraged her to never be ashamed of what she’s feeling and never to hold back from her family. She reaffirmed that we would all support her no matter what she decided. She also reaffirmed that this was a confusing time in someone’s life and that if she changed her mind, then that was fine too.
My daughter vigorously assured me that, although she was not interested in anyone romantically, she knew who she was already. So I told her that I would be leading the gay parade as grand marshal since I am her mother and biggest fan.
No matter what her sexual orientation, people always find a reason to be mean. But as long as I’m alive they’ll have to go through me first.
I will continue to look for ways to support her. She will not, as long as I’m alive, think she is any less than anyone else. Love is a beautiful thing. Why it matters to others so much is beyond me.